Erika in Ireland

I was just thinking about it. I don't know if I ever told you about my plans about my life. Need to go through the first time I wrote here, should say something about my plan there.

Anyway, it has changed a bit since. It is crazy isn't it. How much life and plans can change in a relatively short amount of time, isn't it?

So what about me?

I love languages. Native Swede, so of course I speak Swedish, but I am also fluent in English.
I am learning Finnish at the moment. My goal is to be able to speak it very well by the end of the year. Going to a two week intensive course in July in Helsinki.
After that I'm gonna continue my studies in Hindi I believe, and also German and Spanish.
On the side I will study a bit of Danish and Norwegian since I want to actually speak it, not only understand it and mix it with Swedish.

I am an optimist. I love life. I have had a few rough years, especially -09, but hopefully -10 will be a great year.

If I set my mind to it, I usually get what I want. What I want this year is my Finnish and to make sure that I get a place in the Glanmire womens team in basketball, preferably in the WSL, which is elite.
I got to ER in less than 1,5 years which is awesome, so I can definitely do this. Just need to get in shape!

So what's the difference between me then and now?


I left Sweden 3,5 years ago, believing I would be in Dublin for 3 months and get back home to my boyfriend and eventually move in with him, probably get engaged with him (a few years later) and at some point after that get married and have kids. As far as it came to my career, I wanted to be either a chemistry/math teacher at high school or a chemist. That is what I think at least.

What happened? He broke up with me and I stayed. And the rest is history. I stayed in Ireland...

Me today?

I have decided to stay in Ireland for at least another 5 years. That since I just have been promoted to ER and I have a real good chance to get further within the company. I never thought I was gonna start work in customer service, but I did and I loved it. Now I have stepped up and will work with high-profile cases etc. I will have more influence and responsibility. And all of this I have achieved in less than 1,5 years with the company.

I will work hard and make sure that they notice that I am something that they can rely on and that I can do what they need me to, and a lot more.
I am stubborn. Have always been. That is why I got this far in such a short time. That, and my awesome personality ;)

My favorite quotations are:

"Pressure makes diamonds" - General George S. Patton
"In the middle of difficulty, lies opportunity" - Albert Einstein

They are both true. I'm doing my best under pressure and it is when everything is really dark, that you can find that really bright star that can help you find your way.

I don't know on what path I will be in 5 years time, but that is not now, so why bother? I have a great job, an awesome life, two great cats, a few really close friends, a lot of people who always want to hang out, and I live a life I never thought would be possible.
I left Sweden, something most people only dream of, but they never take the chance. Take the leap. You can always go back home if it doesn't work out.

I have spent these 3,5 years crying a lot, probably hell of a lot more than if I would have stayed home in Sweden, but I have also laughed a lot, and felt things that isn't possible to feel when you are home in a safe place. Even if you go and spend 6 months abroad travelling, it's not the same thing as packing your things, and actually moving. I have soo many times wanted to go home, but I have always known that I would regret it as soon as I landed on Swedish ground.

This is not for everybody, I know that. But if you think about it, (this is for Ireland though, since laws and stuff are different for all countries) you can always drop me an email if you have any questions. I might be able to help you with some advise. And remember, you don't need to stay for as long as I have, some people only move for 6 months or a year or 2. To get the experience (and language skills) which will be a great thing to put on your CV.

[email protected]

And what has this given me?

I have come out from this experience as a stronger person, more independent, more secure in myself. You have to be able to rely on yourself when you are far away from your family and friends. I believe in myself and I know that I can do whatever I want to do and that is a great feeling!

Ok, so looking back at the last few weeks, you can see both the good and the bad things.

I have got two epileptic fits within two weeks, both on buses, to or from work, and one of the times I ended up in hospital. And 4 days after I had my last fit (Thursday a week ago) I ended up in hospital because of trouble breathing and had to stay over night. So overall you could say that my health haven't been the best.

But the rest.

It's awesome!!!! I have no other word for it.

Ok, so this lovely Italian guy, I don't know about him, you know how it is when you go get to know people a little bit more and then you realize things...we might not be very compatible..but no bothers. Me is happy anyways! :) there is plenty more fish in the sea...

This week has been great even though I spent the first part in the hospital.

Jenny came and visited me on Thursday. FINALLY! I have been waiting for soooo long! Can you understand that she is the first one of my friends who actually have come over to visit me, since I moved to Ireland in Sep -06?
Well, how many friends do I have contact with at home now? Not many. What do we have in common? Not much. People changes and walk in different directions, that's a part of life as well.

Anywho, I met her at the airport and we spent a few hours in Dublin before we took the bus down to Cork. We spent the first evening quiet since I still was kinda sick and she had been travelling the whole day. (So had I, Cork - Dublin - Cork)
Friday was beautiful and she had to come with me to CUH since I had to draw some blood, they had to check that the contrast solution had gone out of my system so it couldn't hurt my kidneys anymore. The lady didn't understand at first that I had to lay down, and was a bit unfriendly, but when she saw how stressed I was, she got a bit nicer and found me a bed.

After that, we took a stroll in the Wilton Shopping center which is just outside the hospital before we went back into town. We walked around in the sunshine and then went back home and ordered a huge 20" pizza and arranged with Carl to meet us at The Cornerhouse at 9.

We took a few pints and went to Bodega's after 11. Since I now know the security guy at the door, he made sure that we were let in for free, instead of having to pay 13-14 euro entrance fee. Awesome :) And that's all because of my pretty smile and that I'm not there drunk all the time ;)

And we were dancing and drinking (alcohol free beer for me because of the antibiotics) and met a lot of Apple people (as always) and we had a great time!
We went home at 1.30ish since we wanted to avoid all the rush and walked home and went to bed and slept looong and nice. We had agreed before we went to bed that we were gonna take the train up to Dublin at 14.30.

Woke up 11.30 by my alarm. Snoozed. Phone called 11.35. Answered.
It was one of the coaches from Glanmire Women Basketball Club!! Awesome!!

I sent them an email about a month ago after talking to some guys at Bodega's who played basketball who informed me about the club and that Glanmire women were the best in Ireland.
I sent in the email that I was very good when I played but that I hadn't played for some years now but that I wanted to know if they would be interested in new players, explaining that we won most cups and got a very good position in Swedish Masterships etc.
The guy, Tommie I think his name was, asked me a little bit about all of this and I explained that I haven't played at all since I left Sweden but that I started about 2 months ago playing with the guys at work and that I was impressed on how well it went, but that still, my boll control really sucks :) can't use my right hand at all. Can barely do a cross-over.
He told me that they had four teams, from the SuperLeague, to Division 1 and two lower ones and that I could come and play with them and they could evaluate to see which team I would suit to be in and that he would ask the coach for the SuperLeague/Division 1 to contact me to arrange a test session.

I got an email half an hour later from the head coach and from Tommie. Tommie advised the coach that he believed that I would probably suit in the SuperLeague team or maybe Division1!!!
Tommy emailed me and asked me if I could come and play with them at some point soon.

I emailed back advising that I'm on antibiotics at the moment but that I could do it in a couple of weeks but also told him that I didn't want him to expect too much since I WAS good, but that I haven't played for a very long time and that I would probably need some training before I could show my skills. He hasn't replied to that yet though.

So now I'm nervous!! They believe that I might be suitable for one of the biggest and the best teams in Ireland!! Isn't that awesome! And I KNOW that with my stubborness, if I want to, I WILL get there. Just like I got to ER in the shortest time, without any experience from any other departments etc. And that's just because I am awesome and stubborn and when I put my mind to something, I will follow it through. So, at the moment, my mind is set on: Getting in shape in 2 weeks! How the FUCK am I gonna do that? I need to get in better shape at least, and train some basketball. Saturday, I'm gonna spend many hours doing ball control stuff.
I WILL do this!
And then I will be an awesome ER Advisor who is successful as a basketball player! That is my new goal with the year!
As single as well. Tore and I are finally finally finally finally finally completely and utterly ended. I mean, I ended it mentally many months ago, but Tore and me as well have at a certain degree always "tried".
But what is the meaning when I still have to spend my hours alone in the hospital? When he doesn't know anything about my life? When I don't know anything about his life? When I have absolutely no feelings whatsoever for him, and the only reason I can't let go completely is fear?

With this awesome life I have at the moment, just take a leap, what's the worst that can happen? I have Kamila who will be there. She would have come to the hospital hadn't she been sick at the same time.


Anyway, back to Jenny. We got up by train and got to the hostel which was good actually. 12 bed room and we left our stuff, made us beautiful and went out for dinner. Had a few drinks, ate good food and went to a bar. Most bars were packed and a guy pointed us upstairs saying their were seats available and live music. We went up, and the music was awesome, the pub was cozy and the people there were great. Not that many tourists and we sang along and we had a few pints and I realized how much I have missed Dublin. Texted Carl and told him that now that he is single, we can go up and party in Dublin together and be each others safety net, to make sure we don't drag something really nasty home ;)

We went home around 12 and went to bed and up at 5.45. Taxi picked Jenny up at 6.15 and the bus picked me up at 7.00 for Cork. Slept the whole way home. And I have been doing some cleaning today. Some sit-ups and a power walk. All as a part of my getting in shape in 2 weeks. I am in a hurry. I am gonna show them "The Swedish girl" who is a killer defense player and shoot awesome 3-pointers. :P

As I told you before and before, life is awesome. I'm just gonna roll with it for a while. If I get a few fits or if a few minor things happen, I'm just gonna think about all of this, how the FUCK can I be soooo lucky that all of this happen to me? I guess it is my time now.

And I really hope that you will experience this pure happiness soon as well, and that you know to not destroy it by making up tiny problems to big problems (like most people do). Just enjoy it while it last!!

So what happened this week?

I started my new job on Monday morning. It was with a little bit sadness that I took my iMac and rolled it through Apple from CR to ER, but also with a lot of excitement. :) Chris had been nice enough and move most of my stuff on Friday when I was home sick.

Happy me!!! So I started with explaining the fact that I only would be there for two days since I would be on holiday wed-tue and we agreed that I would start some reading of procedures and stuff but not the real training.
I was all excited and happy and the team is great!! They are happy to have me there too I think.

After work I was exhausted and I didn't feel too well so I didn't have the energy to clean, I went to bed before 21. Woke up in the middle of the night and started vomiting. And I couldn't stop. In the end I fell asleep again and I felt better in the morning (I thought), so I went to work, but realized there, that I must have a fever or something since I was freezing something crazy. I was sitting fully dressed and with two fleece blankets and still ice cold, and I could barely keep my eyes open.
I decided to wait until my manager got in and when she saw me, she sent me home.

I went home to bed and slept and vomited for the next ten hours. I was fully dressed under two duvets and two fleece blankets, still freezing.

And I could barely breathe. I had had that problem for a few days, but I thought it was something from my last fit, but it was really bad, I couldn't take a deep breath or move my arms in certain directions.
So I called mom on Skype and she told me to go to the hospital, which I did, even though I believed that it was completely unnecessary. The taxi picked me up at 22.05

In the emergency/accident department, I explained everything and it took about 20 min before a nurse called me in to a room. I explained everything and they took me in to the emergency dept. She told me that they would need blood from me (!!) and I started to feel panic right away.
The nurse was really nice though and she managed to draw blood right away and decided to keep a line in since they might need to give me some injections or stuff later on and instead of poking me with needles and things the whole time I could have that. It was horrible!! I could see it sit in my arm and the only thing I could think of was the needle in there. Silly me! Then she left me and said that a doctor would come by later. And I was waiting and waiting.
Another nurse came and decided that they would need more blood, from the other arm. They thought it might be a blood clot in the lungue. :( I got a bit scared then. I thought it was a cold.

A doctor took the blood while the nurse calmed me down since this one hurt like hell.
And I waited.
They took me for X-ray of my lungues to check if they could find anything.

At 05.15 ish they told me that I could finally go to sleep. The blood tests had been good and they couldn't find anything unusual on the X-rays but they needed to wait for the morning consultant something who probably would discharge me, but who needed to have a look at the X-rays first.

They woke me up at 08.30 and told me that they needed the bed and that I would have to go and take a seat in one of the chairs over by X-ray (very comfortable ones) and that I was gonna do an X-ray shortly.

A nurse told me that they needed new blood samples and that someone would pop by. A nurse with everything on a wheely thing came by and said that she was gonna take some blood and I told her that I needed to lay down because otherwise I faint. She had to get another nurse, who was SOO unfriendly and questioned me. I told her "It's fine, I can sit up if you want to, but I will very shortly be on the floor anyway, since I will faint". She then left and found me a bed. And they stole blood from yet another vein in my arm.

Told me that the X-ray shouldn't be too long now. This was around 10.
13.30. Nothing.
14.30. Nothing. A male nurse asked if I still hadn't been called. He went and checked. Nothing
15.45. I was advised by the same male nurse that I would be down for scan latest at 17.00.
16.55. Nothing.
17.15. The male nurse was back and stressed and wheeled me down to the basement for a chest scan.

I was told that it wouldn't take too long before I would get in.
18.10. They opened the door! Yey!
And now the terror began. With my line, they attached the thingie for the contrast solution, which is needed for the scan. The nurse was the most unfriendly bitch ever. I was sooo stressed up, tried to breathe normally, but couldn't. And breathing normally during the scan and also holding your breath is the most important during the scan.

They did the scan and then told me that it didn't work since I had been breathing too fast. The bitch came and said "Just think that you lie on a beach" and I answered "I have had an extreme phobia for this for over ten years, you don't think I have tried EVERYTHING? And also, it is very easy for you to say, since you're not afraid" She left and brought a doctor who was very handsome and very friendly. He told me that I actually had done very well but that I just needed to hold my breath a few more seconds and that I could do it. THAT is how you're supposed to take care of a patient who is afraid.

And they wheeled me back. And I was told after about an hour, sitting in my lovely chair again, that I needed to get drop, since they had given me twice the amount of contrast solution which is toxic for the kidneys. And that hurt like hell!!
In the end, I almost fainted, another patient called a doctor, who took out the drop, and we agreed that if I only drank a litre of water, which they put in a jug in front of me, then I could go home.

Apparently I had TWO chest infections. Don't ask me how I managed to get both of them. So they prescribed two antibiotics and two pain killers. And I could leave the hospital around midnight that night.

I went home and cried. I was completely mentally exhausted, my body ached, my arms were (are) bruised from all the needles and no one was there to comfort me.

Tore was my emergency contact. Not anymore. I got hold of him when I got home from the hospital. He hadn't even bothered to call me to check on me, even though he knew that I went in to the hospital to chech what was wrong with me the evening before.
And I realized, that I'm alone. My cats were glad to see me, but still, I would soo much have needed someone to come by and hold my hand when I went through all these horrible things. But I guess that I grew with this experience, I am supposed to be an adult.

Well, at least I got out of this alive, my life is still awesome and I will tell you more about my awesome week :)

Now let me tell you about this week.

I haven't been able to concentrate really. soon I'll be moving to Executive Relations!! :D And I'll be an important person ;)

No, but the week was ok, didn't do much since I was a bit sick. And I was sooooo busy with trying to close of my cases...
And I have been texting the whole week with Max, he is sweet. I like him. On Thursday though..me and Kamila had to spend the whole day together with a Senior Advisor who monitored everything we did, the whole day!! Yey..
It's for a project. Well, I couldn't really concentrate, and since I got the ER job, suddenly everybody is asking me for advise. I will even be above the Senior Advisors :P I will be able to overrule their decisions...woho.
POWER!!! ;)

Anywho, it was our early day, so me and Kamila took the bus home. And I got a fit on the bus. Again. So the ambulance had to come and pick me up. They didn't drive me to the hospital this time though since Kamila was with me, but I hurt myself worse this time. Bruises and my tongue is blue.
So I had to stay home on Friday. Missed Chris last day at work. Apparently he gave me a lot of things and he also moved a lot of my stuff over to ER, so I can just take the last things on Monday morning and then go there right away..

Friday was spent very quiet. Tore promised that we were gonna do something on Saturday (have I heard that before?), on Saturday I couldn't get hold of him, so I went over to Carl and watched a movie with him and Christophe. And then Max texted me and asked if I wanted to stay over at his place. :)

So I went home, grabbed some stuff and he came and picked me up. He lives in a beautiful house in Glanmire. We drank some tea and then we went up to bed and lay there talking for hours. And slept. :)
I like him. A lot. I want to see him again. I hope he wants to see me again. We have a lot in common. Then he drove me home this morning since he was going for lunch with his friend. I hope I will see him in the beginning of next week. But we'll see. Maybe he loses interest...

But in any case, my life at the moment is as good as it can be. I have been promoted, I love my flat and my lovely kitties (Odin lies beside me, snoring at the moment) I am at least for now dating a gorgeous guy who is nice, interesting, and everything a guy should be :) what more can I ask for?

My plan now, as I discussed with Carl and Christophe yesterday, is that my goal is to be Area Manager by the time I'm 30. I have 5 years :) Time to get to work and show how awesome I am!

This was last week...couldn't update..


So, a week has gone...and things I never could imagine happen, happened...

Ok, so Monday was a normal Monday, and I was a bit stressed of course since I still hadn't heard anything from my interview. No one had.

I was up the whole evening baking semlor, since it was Fettisdagen on Tuesday and I had decided to be awesome and bring semlor to work! It went fine, I have never ever baked anything sooo complicated before. It took me almost five hours to do everything.

Went to bed late that night and had to get up early to whip the cream so that I could bring it to work. More stress. Stressed to the bus and almost missed it. Met Maijke and Fernand on the bus, sat down, and got a fit.
Woke up and the ambulance people were there and took me to the hospital.
I was in the hospital most of the day. Didn't speak with Tore since his phone still didn't work, but managed to text Shane and tell him I would be in a few hours late (still a bit confused I think).

Got home in the afternoon and just went to bed.

Wednesday...Orla sent me an ichat saying she wanted to give me feedback on the interview. I got soooo nervous, didn't know if it was a good or a bad thing!! Kamila and Carl wished me good luck and I went over to ER. And Orla explained to me that they knew already under the interview that they wanted me and that the job was mine!!!!
After that, I was walking around on fluffy white clouds for the rest of the day, everybody congratulated me and seriously, I don't think I have been this happy for many many years!
I managed to get a position in Executive Relations!!!! Isn't that awesome?!

I'm starting on Monday..

Me and Pia decided to go out on Friday and she slept at my place. We had a great time!
Had a tiny hangover on Saturday, and that was our team night out night..met the team and went out drinking. Started out in Franciscan Well and went to Slate's after to celebrate Chris leaving thingie.
Got drunk...at 1.30 me and Carl decided to go home and we went to McDonalds and he walked me home (he wants to make sure I'm not attacked or anything on the way)

And what do you think was gonna happen on Sunday?

I was going on a date! I haven't been on a date for years, and on Friday, this Italian guy from iPhone tier2 asked me if I wanted to have a few drinks with him. I was sooooo nervous!
We had a great time. Spent many hours in Soho, drinking a few beers, just chatting. Nice guy, I must say. :) We're gonnna go out again :)

And now I'm on my last week as a CR Advisor, soon I'll be climbing up the ladder and be an ER Advisor, having the power to do everything really. My word is the law. I am the highest escalation point, no Manager transfers or "Supervisor requests". That's me already! :P


And I realized that I at the moment am walking around most of my day, with a huge smile on my face. Because with all the crap that happened last year, it feels like it all comes together now. It is MY TIME now. And I know it wont last forever and I want to make sure that I enjoy and appreciate it as much as I can, while it last.
I wont even try to find problems and stuff, why would I? Just enjoy the simple life.

I have been promoted (because I'm awesome), I have friends that I love and I have someone that enjoy being in my company and who likes me enough to ask me out for a second date. Something I haven't felt in years is making me nervous...we'll see what happens...

But life is beautiful! Enjoy it while you can!

Long week. Short weekend.

This week has been one of the longest this year. And in a long long time. But I have done a lot of things. Chris moved in with me last Sunday. It has been kind of fun living with him actually :) I'm happily surprised. Not that I didn't think that I would like it, but I love living alone and didn't know how I would feel having someone else living in my flat. But it's great :)

On Tuesday, Kamila and I went to the dance show at the Cork Opera House. It was the first time I ever went to something like that, and I was kind of happily surprised as well. Even though the shows were strange. It started with a man behind glass, doing strange moves. Completely naked! For about ten min! The first 5 min, I couldn't really concentrate on anything else but the fact that he was completely naked and that it was just flapping around ;)

But the shows were good and we had a good time.

Wednesday I was at the gym and then played basketball with the guys. It was rough, but awesome! I love it! Then we had a fight with the badminton guy who booked the hall after us, he kind of threw us out even though they only used half of it and we could have continued to play. I was quite upset but anyway.

Thursday. The worst day in a long long long time.
Around 10.30 I get a call from a tier1 tech agent. He has a customer who wants to speak with us. I advised him that I could take over the customer but asked if he first could inform the customer that it would make no difference, I wouldn't be able to give him what he requested.
The agent refused. He told me that it wasn't his job to do my job. We discussed for 12 min, while the customer was on hold, and in the end we were both almost screaming at each other. He was a complete idiot. What shocked me the most was when he told me that his job wasn't to make it easy for me, it was to make it difficult for me! I thought I hallucinated!
In the end he transferred the customer and I dealt with the case but then I sent a feedback to his manager, something that I'm sure that he did to me as well. I had spoken to Shane though and explained everything.

Later that afternoon, the agents manager came over and asked if he could talk to me. He apologized several times and apparently he had been listening in to the call and heard the end of it. And also, he had taken over the call from the agent and was the one who thanked me before transferring the customer (something that I had reacted on since the agent had been so unfriendly) but I had been so upset so I didn't actually hear a difference.
He promised that he was gonna speak with the agent and have a serious talk with him.
It took me almost 24 hours to calm down completely from that call. I haven't been this angry, upset or frustrated for many many years. If the guy had been sitting close to me, I would have gone over and smacked him in the face!

This case is apparently something that everybody in CR know of now. It's legendary! ;) And he is probably hated forever by all CR advisors...

Friday came anyway. Busy!
First I went home to Melinda after work and played wii with her, it was awesome to get rid of some anger while doing swordplay and I realized that I miss golf a lot and am thinking about starting again.

Stress home to get ready since Ewa had a birthday thing at Suaz. Went there, looked awesome! ;)
We continued to Bodega's. I had promised myself not to get drunk since I was gonna play basketball on Sunday, but I felt when I got out that I needed to after this week.
Had a great time! When Kamila went home, I went to the bar to order a drink and ended up talking to a few Irish guys, who apparently play for Neptune which is supposed to be one of the best basketball teams in Ireland. And they told me that the best womens team is in Glanmire, which is just around the corner!! I'm gonna check that out.
One of the guys were incredibly good-looking. He was married (of course) but we had a great time. I left Bodega's when they closed and wasn't that drunk :) started talking to one of the security guys at the door. Nice Irish guy. Think his name was Connor or something like that. We talked a lot even though he was supposed to make sure that everybody got out. And he then gave me a lot of free entrance cards to Bodega's. I think I will use them and go and see him again. He seemed nice, maybe next time I wont get drunk when I'm there so I can have a normal conversation with him... :)

Anywho, I was just about to go home, then the French guys came and suddenly I was on my way to an after party. But people dropped off and when we got to where the guy lived, we were 6 guys and me. I stayed for just half an hour or so, thought it was best to leave before they all got too drunk. I took a taxi home and then I woke up Saturday with a hangover...
Yey, no basketball for me. I've played WOW and watched movies. And eaten pizza.

On Monday, hopefully I'll get a reply if I get the ER position or not. We'll see.

Anywho, I rock!

Cheers!

Long long week. I never thought it was gonna end. At least not the work week...now it's finally weekend!

Carl has a friend over from Limerick. I will go out and have a few beers with them in a few min, have dressed up nicely and stuff already. Ready to get pissed... ;)

So many things have happened this week, so I really need to vent. But I can't get too drunk since I'm gonna play basketball tomorrow. And on Sunday it's Kamilas birthday :D need to find her a present.

Anywho, I had one of these thingies this morning. You know when you suddenly are aware of how alive you are. And I saw everything and I was just happy that I am living the life I am.
There have been and a lot of bumps on the road, and I have a few in front of me, but still, I really really enjoy my life here in Ireland. Except the rain. And no, I'm not drunk yet ;) haven't started drinking yet.

But I need to go, don't want to be too late...and need to find a pair of shoes to wear and a bag..

Cheers!

So I applied for the ER position (Executive relation) two weeks ago. And last week, after being quite a bit nervous about it, I received an email saying I had been chosen to come for an interview.
Of around 100 applicants, we were between 5 and 10 people who actually got an interview. I was PROUD! :)
And happy! But I got this email on Thursday afternoon and the interview was on Tuesday. Went directly to my manager who cursed since we had so little (?!) time to prepare me for the interview. He gave me advise, I then went home even more stressed out.
Friday was spent with Zarah who works for ER since a few months back and she gave me some info about the job they do. And I met another manager who worked for ER and he cursed as well when I told him when the interview was...
I went home that Friday and didn't have anything but ER in my mind. Prepared the whole weekend for all the normal questions you get, but also to present myself and sell myself since I have done so many different things in all my projects.
Sunday I relaxed and went and saw Avatar with Carl. Awesome movie! Want to see it again.

Spent Monday obsessing about the interview and preparing again, everybody has all the time been saying "you'll get it, no problem", but the problem here is that even if I was good enough to get through to the final few, the ones that were called for interview, probably are VERY good as well.
Spent Monday after work trying to find clothes to wear. Didn't want to be to dressed up, but still, needed to show that I am going for an interview. Found some clothes and went to bed.

Obsessed the whole morning today about the interview. Got to the interview and we had a great time. I spoke non-stop for about 50 min, and they said in the end that the interview went fine. Exhausted, I thanked them and left the room, with the information that I now will have to wait for up to two weeks before I get a yes or a no.  Yey.

At least the interview is now over and I can't do anything more about it, but I hope that I showed that I would be great. All people up there who know me, have sold me to them as well, so I might have a tiny advantage there :)

We'll see..

Now, I'm off to bed. My head is empty.

Oh, and by the way, I got accepted to the Finnish course in July this year in Helsinki :D so I will spend two weeks in Helsinki studying! Awesome!

The last thing was that Chris, the Danish guy in our team, is moving in with me on Saturday. He is leaving Ireland in about a month and will be living with me until he finish Apple and goes home. THAT is gonna be interesting :)

So, a short summary of what happened 2009.

The year started of quite well, except me and my boyfriend that is. New year was dreadful. Had an awesome night, was at a Scandinavian party, went home around 4am and had to call him since he had the only keys (he had lost his own). He let me wait outside for half an hour when he said "five minutes" and we had a big big fight. Great start.

Was home in February and didn't see any of my friends, only family. Had and awesome time with my sister. And it was nice just to be home.

In April or something, Mia left for Norway :( which was very sad since she was my closest friend here. But now I can go visit her there :)

Time passed and in May, me and my boyfriend moved to a beautiful flat together with a close friend of ours. Tore managed to loose half of my things while I was in Sweden since my sister graduated!! :)
I was upset for a while, but it was probably for the best, now I have less stuff... ;)

And me and the boyfriend...in September I decided to move out. And on my birthday I moved to my own flat. That was great and I had a flat all for myself. Could walk around naked in it if I wanted to.. :D
My birthday was quite nice as well, spent it with my closest friend Kamila (Swede) and her German boyfriend Lars.

In the beginning of October, I adopted Odin, my rescue cat from Animal Care Society. That, since I had decided to stay here for a while. Odin has FIV (feline AIDS), is about 9 years old, have only a few teeth left and is almost one-eyed. I love him sooo much!

And the big blow came! The boyfriend/exboyfriend (don't know which we were really) told me that the flatmate, our close friend, had left the country and not paid the rent for 6 months. We had paid him every month, but apparently he had just decided to keep the money for himself.
A lot of stress, a lot of hunting down, and finally, with a lot of help, we found him in Norway and he promised to pay that back. Seems to be ok at the moment.

In the beginning of December, I took another cat, now named Mimir, as a fostercat. I was only gonna have him for a few weeks. Lovely cat. About two years old, has FIV as well, and is missing a toe. Me love him too!

Christmas came and no Christmas feeling or gifts...spent Christmas alone, with the cats.
New year was great. It was quiet, spent it with Melinda (a Swedish friend) and her boyfriend (Dutch) + another Dutch guy.

So how was it partywise? It was awesome. Went to several Apple parties. Met a lot of nice people there. The last few months were the "worst". Living alone, I can do whatever I want :)
I think I needed it though with all the shit going on around me...


All in all, I think 2009 was a tough year. I don't think I have ever experienced anything like that before. Thank god it is over!


So what about 2010?

Well, my sister turned 20 on 8th of January. Now she's a big girl! :) And I will turn 25 later this year. Crazy huh?

I have applied for another position in Apple, hopefully I'll get it. Otherwise I'll start looking around for something else. Need to get out of CR, feel like I have done everything and know almost everything now. Need a new challenge.

And Thursday this week, a competition started. Me and a lot of people in Apple, have grouped up in teams and now, the following 6 weeks, will be focused on losing weight. It's a competition between teams and between individuals in the team. Awesome! So at the moment, I am actually quite focused. We'll see if I manage to loose something, but anyway, I'll probably get out of this a little bit healthier, and that's the most important.

And earlier today, I went to Apple and played basketball. And I must say, when I left Apple after a long shower and sitting in the sauna, I was completely happy. It was a beautiful day, and I love basketball. So sad that it have taken me 1,5 year before I actually joined the basketball team. And I wasn't bad. They were impressed :D
And I was impressed that I still could play.
BUT, now I can barely move. All my muscles ache and I don't even want to think about how it will be on Monday...


I am determined that this year is gonna be a great year. It feels strange still to be single, but that is something I will get used to. Some time in the future, I might find someone like Andreas, whom I will fall sooooo crazy in love with. But I will survive in the meantime. It's nice to have time for yourself.
And I can focus on my Finnish studies. I WILL speak very good Finnish by the end of this year!


Cheers!

I moved to a new flat about a month ago. Finally. That was exactly what I needed. To get out of that selfdestructive place. And from Tore. We fought every day. I was upset, got fits and everything. And that isn't exactly what I need...

So I looked for a flat and found one where the landlady said it was ok to have animals. The flat is a two bedroom basement flat just on a street above one of the main streets of the city centre. It's awesome. The pictures seemed great and I went there and immediately fell in love with the place. It's a little bit like a dungeon, but that suits me, who have lived in a basement most of my life.

Low ceiling, and different levels on the floor in every room, so you have to watch your step when you enter a room :)

The kitchen/living room is big and the kitchen has a lot of space. A big fridge with a good size freezer for one person (or maybe in the future two) with a lot of bench space and cup boards. The only thing is that it doesn't have a fan above the stove, but I can live with that. I have fried food and it isn't a problem.
Leather sofas, a big dining table and nice color on the wall.

The second bedroom is quite small, but with a double bed and big closet + an extra drawer beside that.
My bedroom is very big, has a big double bed, big closet and also an extra drawer and some shelves.

The bathroom is the only thing that is of a bit lower standard. The bathtub is a bit old and used, but it has a good power shower so it's fine.

And a lot of storage space. Also, I have my own entrance on the front and my own entrance to the garden in the back and I'm allowed to put anything I want on the walls and paint if I feel like it. Anything I want as long as I don't destroy any bearing walls :)

So I just love it! And it is awesome to live alone!!!! It is expensive to live alone but it is definitely worth it and I have the extra room if I decide to get someone else to share with.

And now to the cat.

I decided a few weeks back that I am gonna stay in Cork for a few years to see if I can get promoted and climb somewhere in Apple, which will take some time, but they are happy with me and believe that I can get far and the only thing then missing was a cat, because I miss my cats at home soooo much. So I contacted CAS, since I want to adopt a cat and help them out.
And they went to my place, they accepted me and yesterday I met my cat. I told them that I am fine with a cat which is a bit older (most people want kittens), and also, I said that I wouldn't mind if he had FIV. I'm reading up on that at the moment, it is the same as HIV but in cats. It isn't dangerous to humans, only transmits between cats so he will have to be an indoor cat and if I get another cat (which I want) then I'll get another FIV cat.
They just get sick a bit easier but with suppliments and right food, they can live as long as healthy cats.

Yesterday I went to the cat hospital where they are treating my cat at the moment, his name for now is Carl or Kent depending on who you ask. I'll see if I'll stick to one of them or get another name. He is great. He is beautiful. Between 7 and 9 years old and have been homeless most of his life but still he is one of the friendliest cats I have ever met. I already love him, and he seems to like me as well :)
Tomorrow I'm going to go to a pet center to purchase all cat stuff needed and in the end of next week, I can expect to get him home to me and I am sooooo happy. This is my late birthday gift for myself. What more can I wish for?

This is gonne be nice!

Anywho, life is quite good at the moment, except for all the fits I get, but I can live with that. Need to run!

See ya!

Friday was awesome. Work had arranged for a big bbq for all employees. Free food, drink and jumping castles etc.
Wasn't really planning to drink anything, but I just had too...
Met a lot of Swedes that I've never seen before. It was great. We are superior ;)

Then I met Martin, the German who speaks fluent Norwegian...great guy! Just listening to him and Therese talk made me happy. They asked me about my funny smile and I simply explained that I really really love listening to Norwegian, it's such a cute language!

So the rest of the evening were spent with Germans (whom I know that I should know by name, but I don't)

I know have bruises all over my body after the football, the castle and the "super tramp" which is awesome! I love my life at the moment.
Wasn't home until 05.00 and by then I had received a text from dear boyfriend saying he would explain three words to me (I assumed it wasn't I love you)
He was pissed of and I just advised that I came home even though it was late, comparing to him who doesn't come home at all.

I am detaching myself at the moment. Don't know why it have taken me this long, but I am now looking for a new flat, to rent for myself, and I will see if I can move out within two months. I will then see if I can get two cats..

Because I have also made a decision to stay here a few more YEARS. It all depends on how my review for the year is going, but my manager believe in me and said that people have heard about my work outside of our dept. which is good :D

My Finnish is slowly going forward... Iltaa..

'When I grow up.."how how how how" I wanna be famous I wanna be a movie star...'

Sitting in our new flat drinking Whiskey and beer. I love this place. Awesome. The taxi drivers of course now where I live when I give them my address "The Elysian, please" but at least three have now said that it is there first drive to that address =) and they ask me how it is, how the flats are and if there are many people living there...

'We'll escape this planet until infinity. To infinity'

Truth to be told. It's like heaven. It's honestly like lving in a hotel. I love it. I'm happy. It takes about five min to walk to the bus and 4 min to walk to the main shopping street. We have pubs around the corners and a garda station (police) and fire station as well. We have 24 hour concierge who during evening/night shift works as security as well.
This is the best decision I've made since I left Sweden.

'Are we human? Or are we dancer?'

I am leaving Ireland for Sweden on Thurday. My sister is graduating. And do you know what is worrying me the most? It's that I wont be able to speak proper Swedish. I am soo stressed out. Customers don't even believe me when I say that I'm from Sweden. And apparently I am starting to get this 'cute Irish accent'...
But I'm proud to be who I am. I am cool, I'm good at my job (even though I must say that my new colleague Kamila is superb, she is sooo patient with the customers!)
Kamila had a customer on the line Friday about noon, and she sat with him for over 1,5 hours trying to explain that we wouldn't make an exception for him. He was screaming at her several times but she just kept her calm and said "please sir, could you not shout at me". I am very impressed with her. She is cool.

Anywho, soon I'm going home and it's gonna be strange. Btw, did I say that I am planning to take driving lessons? I'm gonna take a driving license here, it's my plan at least. We'll see when I have done some driving...and then just the thought about moving from here, that would mean that I would learn how to drive on the "wrong side" as the correct side so when I get home to Sweden it will be wrong to drive there. Strange huh?

Ok, gonna grab another beer now...

But I need to say, I live a great life, I am sad that I left Sweden (and therefore got dumped by my ex whom I think I probably would be engaged or something serious like that to today) but I think that it never was planned for me to stay there. Can't imagine that I would be happy in Sweden. Still, it takes me about 24 hours from arriving to Stockholm, before I realize why I left. The people from Stockholm..awful. No wonder people don't like us! Get a grip, the world doesn't evolve around us!
So my plan at the moment? Me and Tore are fine since we moved here, just gonna by a TV for our bedroom now and all will be great. Also, three colleagues have now moved in at Elysian so I'll be popping over to them in the evenings.

www.theelysian.ie

That's where I live...understand why I love it?

Tore arrived home yesterday from Mexico. My plan was to put him in a plastic bubble for a week and lock him into the bathroom to make sure he doesn't have the flu. When I saw him, I forgot it and it took me about 30 sec to get in under the duvet in our big bed where he was sleeping after a 24 hour long journey.
People were avoiding me at work today. I have had a cough for four weeks now, but now they KNEW that Tore was back and therefore I might be contagious.. Our friend isn't allowed back to work before he has been to a doctor. Just in case.

Life is pretty good right now. Except for customers screaming in my ear that my job is to do whatever they ask for, I have had a good week and it is even better now when he is back and I realized that I HAVE missed him.
Work have been crazy, have a few real idiots at the moment. Sometimes I wonder if their moms dropped them on the head when they were babies because something is seriously wrong...

I had my mid-year review, kind of an evaluation about how I'm doing so far. I'm doing well. Better than I thought. But I am working my ass off. I am gonna get an even better score at my yearly review in October, that's my plan at least...
People think I should apply for the senior agent position, I don't want to yet. I don't feel that I have the knowledge yet to advise other agents how to act or proceed.

I'm planning my second and third tattoo. On my right foot and my neck. Or maybe my right shoulder. Gonna do it very soon. Just trying to find something that I will love forever, just like my dragon, who still hasn't got a name. Apologies for that, dragon baby.
At the moment I am looking at a fairy or angel and paw prints and a cat. I also wanna tattoo the inside of my lip, as Mia has.

Also, I am planning a trip for my birthday in September. Tore wants me to go to Thailand with him, but I want to go to Japan, so if I find someone who wants to go with me there, then I'll be off in Sep. I got return tickets with hotel for two weeks from EUR 1200 which is very good.

At the moment I am drinking beer and looking at tattoos, I'm also learning a bit Finnish. And listening to great music. Tore and Björn bought a BBQ today and it was awesome!

Oh, forgot, I am gonna tattoo a forth and maybe fifth tattoo as well, on the inside of my arm, in white.

Cheers!!!

I've had a great weekend. And it isn't over yet. Mia is coming over in a litle while and we are gonna color our hair and do some facial masks and stuff. And watch movies. Yey.
I like her a lot.
Friday I went over to her place after work and we went together to Chris' party. It was his birthday. Chris is one of the Danes in our team. It was super! Me, Mia and Carl were the only one who were sober. It was interesting. Me and Carl sang singstar. Never done that sober before. A girl was hitting on me. First time. It was strange. She stopped though when she realized I had a boyfriend. Went home around 2 with Carl since we're neighbours. It was freezing! And it was storm, the winds were insane!
Woke up yesterday morning and was happy since I didn't have a hangover. That is great! And when people get drunk, no one notices that you are sober anyway =)
Went to town with Mia, bought some real good chicken and some vegetables and stuff and then we went home after looking for a disposable bbq thing for an hour. We fried the chicken in the pan instead, made a salad and ate corn. It was super! Got ready and went to a French leaving party. No drinking. Had to work this morning. Left around 12 when all left for a night club.

Tried to sleep through Tore's and Björns party here at home. They were noisy, drunk and annoying. Woke me up several times and at 7.30 when Björn went home. Up to work at 8.30 and it was supposed to take 3 hours. It took 25 min.
Boyfriend is still sleeping and I am relaxing.

The weekend was stressful. The letters I have received this week are no fun. They all expect me to give whatever they want just because the threaten to go to court otherwise. As IF the court will decide against us when it comes to a product which have been declared with liquid damage. Idiots. And they think that if they scream loud enough and asks to speak to higher Management (which I never let them do) then they will get what they want.
But I like my job. It is great. Just miss taking simple phone calls. Would have been great since there actually are times when I can relax and do stuff. But it will look good on paper that I have been dealing with the letters, and if my lovely letter buddy gets another job, then I might apply for her position, but then I will be fulltime on letters. Would be cool though. We'll see...

How is your life?

Life is strange. I am happy. I am sad. I am sick and tired of being here. I love it. Never happy am I?

Well, I have been a bit depressed for the last few years, it has been up and down, with the occasional breakdown when I just lay in bed crying for hours and with such a pain in my chest that it feels like I just want to explode or die.
I have mood swings. I have been talking to my dear crisis nurse after an incident last year. She was in contact with me every week until I started to see a therapist. I went once. He reminded me of someone I know and I couldn't sit there and talk about my feelings with him.
My mood affect me and Tore. I was thinking about getting anti-depressive medication but thought that maybe I should try some herbs first. Had heard of Johannesört, St Johns Worth (I think) but I can't eat it with my meds. Went in to a store which sells herbs and stuff and asked for a mild anti-depressive. They gave me Rhodelia. I started take it and have taken it for over two weeks. My mood swings are gone, my feelings are more stabile. I feel less stressed and feel relaxed. It is called Rosenört in Swedish. Why didn't I know of this before? Me and Tore have been fine since I started it. No fights, he is still not helping out with cleaning and stuff, but I don't care as much anymore. It is not the end of the world. Whatever. We're gonna move apart soon anyway.
I think so at least. Our contract runs out in the middle of July. We'll see if we move in together in another flat then. I might just rent a room somewhere and get on with my life instead. =)

Anywho, life is great. I complain about my customers but they are quite stupid many of them. My csat (customer satisfaction) is quite high, which is good. Our new manager is good. He lets me do what I need to do. I am doing a lot of things, never taking calls. Haven't been taking calls the whole year. Just been dealing with the letters coming in. The letters are difficult. They are soo angry many of them and they expect so much. And I have to give customers call every day and explain to them that we won't repair this for free or replace that without cost (since it is 3 years out of warranty = 4 years old)  and the customer shout at me and say that they are gonna sue me.

People asks me how I can continue smiling even though I deal with the letters. I hate it sometimes, but I like it most of the time. Wouldn't change it for anything at this moment. Gonna save money and then I am leaving for holiday in the end of the summer. Alone probably. There is no one who wants to go with me or have the money to do so. And Tore is leaving for 8 days in Mexico so he will not go for holiday for a while after that.

Anywho, now I'm gonna continue with one of my Finnish lessons =) My goal is that I am gonna be done with the course I have before the summer. Then I need A LOT of practice!!

Happy again. Sorry I haven't updated for a while but I have been on the late shift at work for over a month now and I usually go home and do nothing before I go to bed =)

A surprise for most of my friends: I was home in Sweden about two weeks ago, for ten days. IT WAS GREAT! I didn's tell anyone except my family since I haven't been home for 1,5 years and wanted to spend time with my family without feeling that I need to go out every night and meet friends. No offence. I will be home soon again though and then I will go home just to see friends.

Something interesting about coming home though. I missed Sweden sooo much and I looked so much forward of finally getting home. It was even better than I imagined it would be, when I finally landed in Skavsta. The sun was shining and it was a clear and cold day. I just felt like kissing the ground. I was so happy I was home. I was exhausted though since I had been awake since 07,00 the day before. I had to go to Dublin straight after work and spent 10 hours on Dublin airport. Had my lovely laptop though so I was watching movies and stuff the whole night. But that meant that when I landed in Skavsta, I had been awake for almost 30 hours...
Anywho, I was happy, I didn't know what to do with all the happiness. I took the bus into Stockholm central station. And I took the subway from there. Just walking on the central station watching all the people, it was great. I went home and slept. My cats remembered me. Sabelkatt =) she slept in my bed, and I woke up hours later to the smell of blodpudding and bacon! Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!
It took me about 36 hours before I realized why I left Sweden. The people. The annoying unfriendly pushy idiotic people. The stress, the annoyingness (a word I invented) of having to speak Swedish everywhere. No one holding the door open for me, people starting to enter the subway before everyone have left it, and the fact that they took no notice of elder people or anything.

I love being in a country where people are polite.They are idiots here as well, but they are polite idiots. And I don't blend in like at home. I AM something when I am here. I am Swedish. We were discussing the importance of our nationality the other day. I didn't care that much when I was home, but now I do. I am proud of being Swedish. Other nationalities think about intelligent, good working people when they think about Swedes (all whome are blonde, tall and have big boobs of course). And the flag is important. Of course, we would never expect Ireland to stop singing their national anthems or anything because we are not Irish and we would never go out and wave with our flags on their important days, but all of us own a flag. Mine is in the hallway in our flat. Tores Norwegian flag is in the kitchen.
I am now gonna go and tattoo something that show that I am Swedish. Call me rasist if you want to, but I do love my country and I do love being Swedish. I love Spanish people, Italians, Dutch, German, Irish, British and Finnish people as well, and many other people and nationalities, but I want to show them that I am Swedish.

Anywho, I was home for almost ten days. I ate, I slept, I was with my family and a lot with my cats. It was great. I have really missed home, but I know that I don't want to live in Sweden. It is a little bit sad actually, but I can't stand the thought of having to speak Swedish all the time. It was strange to go the cinema and watch the subtitles. But it was even more strange to see how much Stockholm have changed in only 2,5 years. New buildings everywhere, English signs and stuff on the subway. Impressive.

When Lars-Ove drove me to the airport for my flight home, I was happy. I was exhausted and sooo full, but I was looking forward of getting home to routines again. To work, to friends, to non-Swedish stuff.

I came back and everything was great. I have had sooo much to do since I came back since I am dealing with the Nordic letters, but mainly with the UK/IRE letters  and my colleague who works with them has been sick so we have had a huge backlog. But I like it. And a thought has popped up in my mind:
We have Apple departments all over the world; In US, Singapore, Sydney etc.
I am gonna check if it is possible for me to transfer to CR in Sydney or maybe Singapore. Wouldn't that be cool? It would be super! Then I can go to Australia, get a Visa and then continue working there or quit or anything.

Well, right now I am gonna do nothing since I will work here for some time more. We will see what happens with me and Tore, but I am trying to persuade him to go to Sydney with me. He can study and I can work. Or I'll go by myself =)

Anywho, I need to go to bed now since I am taking a bus to Belfast tomorrow at 07,00

And if you haven't listened to the song "Bruises" with Chairlift yet, please do. It is super. I KNOW that it is in the ad for the ipod nano, but since I haven't seen the ad, I don't care. It is great anyway.

I really have a lot of ups and downs. Two days ago I was happy. Yesterday I was happy. Today I am completely crushed and depressed. Why?
Well, my flatmate (Tore) told me yesterday that he had gone through my texts on my phone. I don't mind, don't have anything to hide. And I asked him if he found anything interesting. No.
Woke up this morning, cleaned the whole flat and his phone was in the kitchen. And I just felt like looking through his phone. Just curious you know, and since he broke the unwritten rule, I had the right as well. That was a mistake.
He had about 20 texts from a girl. Dirty stuff. He also told her he was single. She told him what she wanted to do with him and told him what she was wearing (about nothing). They also had a meeting on msn.
Now I know why he always have to change window and put a pillow over his.. when I wake up in the middle of the night. I have been crying today. For hours. Until I didn't have more tears.

When I had read them, I went in to the bedroom and asked him if he wanted me to lick his back (something she had planned to do when she is coming over here) and asked him if he thinks that he is single.
No. He said this was his aunt and that they were just joking around. Right. To start with, WHY would you like to do something like this with an aunt? And why do they write all texts in English when she is supposed to be Norwegian?
I told him that he hurt me and I guess we're even now. He don't think so.

The difference between me and him is that I can't even remember it, and I am not interested in the guy I apparently kissed. Tore implied many times that she was perfect for him...and they also texted during the whole night. I don't even have the guys number.

And I have more tears to cry. I left for a walk to the nature reserve. It was beautiful and I had some peace. I went home, cooked food and then his friend came over. He didn't say a word the whole time. So when the friend arrived, I left. I didn't know where to go, so I went to the cinema. Alone at the cinema, pathetic huh? Nice to think about something else a few hours.
I don't know what to do. Nice relationship we have now. He doesn't trust me, I don't trust him.. And since he is apparently single, I can't really call him a boyfriend. He is right now my flatmate and unfortunately we have to share bed.

I am happy again. (I am aware that I am mentally unstable) But I am happy right now again. Went to work this morning, no cars, no buses, no people, just quiet and still.
It was a little bit cold, but not very. I couldn't hear anything at all. Everyone were asleep. I like that. I miss the times as Breakfast Supervisor. To be awake before everybody else and see the world wake up.

Came to work and had a cup of coffee (or actually three) since I had nightmares the whole night and was deadly tired. I dreamt about killer tigers and polar bears that were brutally killing my friends in a ski resort. I KNOW I am a bit psycho, but they were scary!!
At work, it was really really quiet. Almost no calls at all. Interesting part is that I had 8 calls and the rest of the team didn't have more than 2 each...But there wasn't any idiots for once. I liked that. And I was reading about serial killers on Wikipedia. I must say that Ted Bundy was a bit scary. And I feel sorry for his daughter who was born while he was in jail. What idiotic woman marries a serial killer?
He killed up to 100 women, but the official number is 36. He decapitated some of them with a hacksaw and kept the heads in the house or flat he lived in for a while before throwing them away or cremating them...Disgusting.
And Peter Tobin, who killed women in UK and one of them, he buried under the floor in the church where he worked as a handyman, while she was alive...!

I must say that Wikipedia is great. You learn a lot of stuff there. Insane stuff, but still. And gråsugga på norska är skrukketroll. My new favorite Norwegian word. Gråsugga in English is woodlouse. They have found one on the bottom of the ocean that weighs 1,5 kg.

When it comes to Christmas. I hope you all had great evenings with a lot of gifts which you actually liked. And I hope you ate A LOT of food. I didn't. But I had some lasagna, a few glasses of wine and saw a movie with my dear boyfriend. Could have been worse.

Mia is coming over very soon. We are gonna watch movies, talk and drink wine (she will drink vodka). Modde and Tore is in the living room playing PS3 games. And they are probably gonna get drunk too. But life is good.

The only thing is that I miss you an awful lot right now. I miss you, I miss Sweden. I have thought about Sweden and home quite a lot the last few days. Probably because it is Christmas. But right now, I wouldn't mind move back home. But I know that I would be restless soon and try to find another place to travel. And Apple is great. It will look good on my CV. And it is an experience. To meet people from everywhere. That is what I love. I will have friends  from the whole world, I have friends who lived in Italy, Portugal, Spain, Germany, Poland, Norway, Denmark and France.
I know that I am very patriotic, but ask anyone here, they all have flags up, they all love to sing their national anthem when they are drunk. And are we rasists? No, we just love our countries, we know to appreciate them.

There are a lot of good things here in Ireland, but there is a lot I miss from home.
The healthcare, the dental care, the public transport, the food, the clean streets. What I love here is the mentality of the people, they are all so polite and friendly (except the kids who don't respect anyone at all) I love the atmosphere and the country is beautiful. But I miss the sun. I WILL look like an Irish soon, my skin has not seen sun for 1½ year now.

This was a lot of crap. And now Mia is coming over. Will go down and meet her. We are gonna cook. Something nice. How are you? What is happening in your life right now? How are you feeling? Are you happy?

I love you, my friends, and my family.

Merry fucking christmas. Miss Sunshine is here. Broken dreams. Broken promises. Like always.

Do you think that there will be ONE day when my dear actually keep something he has promised? And is there gonna be only ONE time when he actually doesn't blame me or try to make me the big bad wolf when I ask him why he promise something without keeping it (again).

Promise: To clean the flat and that we were going out for dinner this evening when I come home from work.
What happened?: I called him on my way from work. He wasn't at home. Asked if he was in town. Yes he was there shopping with someone. Ok, are we having dinner? No, he have just eaten lunch (time is 17.10)
Ok, I am disappointed and take the bus home. Was the house cleaned? Of course not!! Who are you trying to fool? And THEN I get a text from him: Buy food
What?
He comes home, gets into the room and shows me the playstation he bought and gets upset when I don't jump with joy. Ask him about the dinner and about the cleaning and he starts screaming at me. And slamming the door on the way out.

And this time I only laugh. I am so sick of his behaviour. I am not the bitch in every scenario. I'm not. But I expect a little bit from him. It is soon christmas.
IF I go for a dinner tomorrow after work with my colleagues, then he don't want to celebrate when he gets home from work at 23.30. So he wants me to sit home from 16.00 tomorrow and do NOTHING just to let me celebrate with him. I am thinking about going for the dinner and then just don't come back home until early morning. As if he will care if I am home at 11 or 03.30

I really need to call a psychologist after Christmas. Need to get out of this.
But I like the flat. I don't want to live with people I don't know. But it might be the best. So my mind can get some piece. Cause there are people who likes me. Who cares. And I thank them for it.

Anyway, tomorrow is Christmas and it is time for friends and love. I will enjoy time with my friends and only drink some wine. Don't want to repeat Saturday again (even though I am very sad I missed the kiss)

Merry Christmas and Happy new year from me to all of you. I love you, I do. I miss you even more. 

You can say that I am on  probation. Tore has not yet decided if he can or if he can't forgive me for what happened last Saturday. There is no excuse, but I tried to explain to him that it didn't mean anything since I can't even remember it.
This is officially my first black out. And the weird part is that I can't even remember the whole. I remember the evening as complete, no gaps. We came, we had fun, we left. But at some point in the middle, I had a short blackout.

It was a bit awkward to be informed by somebody else what I had done. WHY do people drink that much? Ok, I did it, but I learned from this. What I know is that there are people who drink like this every weekend and have blackouts. That is just embarassing.
I am a bit disappointed since I can't remember it. The guy is hot. Was it good? Was it bad? Probably crap (you can't really perform anything when you are piss drunk). But it would have been nice to remember. It was only a few kisses. But still. Anywho. I spoke to my partner in crime on Friday since I felt that we needed to discuss what happened. Can be a bit awkward since he is my supervisor.

He doesn't remember a thing and we laughed about the stupidness. To make out in front of tonnes of people we are working with? We agreed that we could have done a lot worse (he is hot as I told you, he feels the same about me) and we could have done a lot more to regret. So, no awkwardness between us, just some laughs and we are gonna stay out of each others reach the next time we enter a party ;)

The week has been hell. No Nordic calls again. I am banned! :( not really, but since we are that many Scandinavians now, I am prioritized on UK/IE and those calls are crap. They are always sooooo angry (even when they have damaged their products themselves) and wants us to pay and refuse to take a no. If you say no, they want to speak to a Supervisor. I have the same authority as my supervisors which means that I can make all decisions myself, but they don't care. And they scream in your ear saying you don't care about them as customers... Please don't expect too much when you have dropped your phone in the toilet please! I DO care, I AM terribly sorry that you were stupid enough to leave the computer out in the rain, but there is NOTHING we can do!

This weekend has been quiet. I have been looking for some christmas gifts for Tore. I am on kind of probation now, but I will still give him a christmas gift. If he doesn't give me one, I don't care. And I am due to start going to a psychologist. Interesting huh? I have issues. Big issues. Nothing to discuss, but I need to sort my head out.