Erika in Ireland

I went to my doctor last Thursday to get new prescriptions for my epilepsy meds. That is usually not a problem. I pay 20 euro and get them, then I go to the pharmacy and get meds for a month.

I got the prescriptions, looked at them, and saw that she only had prescribed them for a month (no way I'm gonna pay 20 eur every month). I went to her and told her who I was. She didn't say anything, or her name or anything. I asked her to change it, which she did, and I went to the pharmacy around the corner. Promised to pick them up the day after. Came to the pharmacy on Friday, and the pharmacist looks at me, and tells me that he only have meds for a week. I ask him why?
"Your doctor wants to test this medication"
"Excuse me"
"She said that she wants to test the medications"
"My neurologist prescribed me this medication, I have been on it for 6 monts, it's not up to her to decide"
"I called her, but she said that I could only give you one week at a time, I'm sorry"

I was furious! I went directly up to the Medical Center and asked for the doctor but was told that she had gone home. She would be in on Saturday though, between 11 and 16.

I called the day after, and she wasn't available, but they promised that she would call back later the same day.
No call.

Went their on Monday after work. They let me in right away. (this is the short version)
"Why have you prescribed me meds for only one week?"
"Because I don't want you to take to much medication"
"Excuse me, but you didn't prescribe me this medication, my neurologist did, and I have had them for 6 months"
"Yeah, but I am worried that you will overdose"
"Excuse me? What did you say?" (I was so surprised)
"I don't want you to overdose your medication, which you can do if you have more than one weeks medication"
I was quiet for a few seconds while I was processing what she was insinuating.
"So you mean that I am suicidal? Are you bloody stupid?"
"There is a risk" (I started to curse and got really angry at this moment)
"Excuse me? You're saying that I am suicidal based on what? Do I look like I'm suicidal? I am PERFECTLY FINE!"
"I had another patient, and she said the same thing.."
"WELL, I'm not that patient, AND, if I would like to commit suicide, I have enough medication at home to do it. And I wouldn't do it with drugs. I would jump in front of a train or a bus. And also, I don't have TIME to go and pick up medication every week because of my job. And if I don't take my medication, I can get a fit. And if I get a fit in front of a bus, do you know what, I MIGHT DIE! I have been with my old GP for 18 months, and he has not ever said anything, you have met me once, and think that I'm suicidal without even talking to me?"

The conversation kept on for a while, but in the end, I ended up cursing even more, calling her a fucking idiot and slamming the door when leaving.
I went there two days later. Started writing a letter of complaint which I will still go ahead with (if I haven't commited suicide that is..)

Bloody idiot!

When I went there yesterday to explain that I'm going to Finland for two weeks and will be without meds if she don't give me meds, she told me that she isn't gonna be there after Saturday. Two days notice? Think she has received quite a few complaints. And my old GP is coming back. YEY!!!

And suddenly I'm not suicidal anymore ;)

Some people shouldn't be allowed to be doctors.

And just to make it completely clear to everybody. I am NOT suicidal. I love my life, my work, and my cats! My friends, my liver (even if it doesn't love me back ;) ) and the bloody Irish weather. I love my flat, my stuffed Cheshire cat, and having friends coming over for dinner twice a week!
I have a hard time believing life could be much better at the moment!!!

I hope that you can feel the same!!

I'm horrible I know...I'll try to improve....

So, what happened the last time. I think I was really into a Finnish guy was it? Looking that up...ooooh, it was almost two months ago. Sorry.. :(

Sooo, what happened with him? Ok, I decided to stop hunting him after talking to my mum said: I'm gonna tell you a story...
"One evening I had the worst tooth ache ever, and somehow I ended up in a bar. And there, I met a Finnish guy, who told me that the best cure against tooth ache is whiskey. They sat up and talked all night, drinking whiskey. Nine months later, I was born..."

She gave me the best advice: "If it supposed to happen, it will happen"
And no, I didn't hear from him, but of course, he started chatting me at work, the occasional text, telling me how well he was, and how great his weekend has been (WTF??).
And then I met him out two weeks ago, at a pub, when I was out with a friend of mine, and we had a blast, and we left the place together, he kissed me, and asked me if I wanted to see him "if he went to Finland while I was there" (WTF??).
And after that? Nothing. Am I surprised? Not really. I have decided though to give this up. He is clearly not into me, I am not stupid. And there are guys who actually have been asking me out, whom I have turned down, because of this BLOODY Finn. How stupid..

Anyway, except that. I went to Dublin with Carl three weeks ago. We had a great time. Went to Portmarnock where I live when I worked in Dublin. We got lost in the city, we were in the St. Steven Green (a park)., saw the Street Performance and went to IKEA!!

The week after, I and two Swedish friends, Magnus and Jonas, organized a Swedish Midsummer party! It was a success!!! The best midsummer I've had!
We had a midsummer pole, dressed in weed though...and it had a hat and gloves. But still.. :D
WE had home made snaps, meatballs, pickled herring (sill), boiled potatoes (nypotatis), rhubarb pie, and about 4 litres of vodka + 5 litres of beer. We were 12 people, and we started at 14.00.

There are no pictures taken after 01.30...I was "happy" ;) at 20.00 and left at 04.00. Four people blacked out and stayed over. As I said, it was a success!!

And the Monday after, me and Mikael, my flatmate, moved to our new place!! Awesome!! I have my own bedroom with a shower, and i have a kingsize bed!!

My partylife?
It's as bad as it was before ;) I'm happy!!

I've been out three times this week. Drinking I mean. It's crazy.
It's been a busy week in general, but then I've been crazy busy meeting friends and going out with them as well. Busy trying to not think about my "date" who actually told me he wanted to see me again, but who kept ignoring me this week...driving me crazy!

I met Veera at Franciscan on Wednesday for "a pint". Was home at 02.30. Up at 07.15 to get to work...woho...
Went to Iron Man2 on Thursday with Christophe on Thursday. Another late evening, since the movie didn't start until 21.00 and it's more than two hours long...

And then it suddenly was Friday!! Went to Franciscan with Micke and met a few friends, Kamila came over with Lars. And Julian. And who do you think was there? Of course. And I confronted him again and complained about him giving me whiplash injuries...calling him a faun...
And we laughed, we talked, we left the pub when it closed and kissed and said goodnight. Crazy.

No hangover Saturday though, but laaaaaaaaaaaazy. Ended up in Franciscan again, met Veera and a few of her friends. It was nice. And I managed to get them towards Bodega's. The bouncer at Franciscan works at Bodegas when Franciscan has closed and he called me old!! Since I had been too tired to go Bodega's last night!

Got Veera and Mike to go to Bodega's. Met my bouncer friend there :) Damien :) he let us pass the queue and go in, Veera and Mike disappeared. Apparently she didn't want to pay, went out to answer the phone, Mike went after her, and they stayed outside. We ended up agreeing that we would meet at An Brogue. I never left.

When I left, I started to talk to Damien again and he discretly gave me his phone number :) yey!!

Got home and logged in to Facebook. Had received a message from another guy I have seen a few times, who told me that we only met "sporadically" and on "impulse". Apparently he now have feelings for me...

It's always like this isn't it? It's all or nothing... When you are interested in someone and don't really care, then they are all there, but when you actually look, there's none!

So...the question is how to proceed...

1. I really like my date. We click. We have a great time. We are on the same wavelength I think. BUT... He's having an interview for the position in Singapore on Monday, last interview. I believe he will get it...then he'll be gone in 6 months.
2. I like the guy I've seen a few times "sporadically" and on "impulse". However, I had a little bit of crush on him in the beginning, but that's when he told me that he wasn't interested in me in that way, or in having a relationship. So I kind of shut those feelings down...Seems like we have swapped seats...
3. The bouncer. I haven't actually been out with him. Only seen him while he's at "work", and I'm "partying"...maybe it would be worth actually trying once..?

And I really need to stop going out like this...I can hear my liver almost scream in agony... ;) Ireland...I love this country

So I ended up with my date last night. But we weren't really out on a date...

I was at that stage kind of fed up with the whole situation. He's been giving me mixed signals the whole week and it's giving me kind of a whiplash!!
Decided that I had shown him enough interest and that the next move would be up to him, or I would just forget him. Went out to a pub with Micke, my new flatmate.
Ended up at another pub later with Tariq and a few other girls from work. We had great fun. Only thing that caused me some stomache ache was the fact that my date was in the same pub, ignoring me...

When the last call for alcohol sounded, I saw that he went to the bar, and I thought that I'll give this one more shot, and that I would explain to him that he's giving me a whiplash. I came, he smiled and I was back at square one. Asked him about his evening bla bla bla. And then told him that he just have been ignoring me this whole evening. He said that he sent me a text the minute I arrived and he saw me, asking me to "look right", he said that I looked at my phone, looked at him and then ignored him. I apologized and said that I hadn't looked at the phone since I arrived and that I would have come up to say hi if I'd seen it.
We agreed that we would meet up after the pub closed and see if we could go somewhere else together.

I left earlier with my friends, standing in a group, chatting a few hundred meters from the pub, when one of the girls says "turn around". I turn around, and he stands there. I say hello and smile, and turn back to say something to my friends. They're all gone!! They all disappeared within less than 10 seconds, completely abandoning me! ;)

We ended up buying pizza, going back to his place, and sat up talking all night..again.

I asked him this time if he wants to see me again, and he does. Yey. And he have apologized for giving me a whiplash, wasn't his intention. Right...
We will see each other next week, probably. :) and I'm a huge huge smile!!

So, let's take it one day at a time and we'll see if this works out or not. I'm not in a hurry. :)

So, I am studying Finnish since a few months back. It's difficult as hell. I mean, it is headwrecking as I've told you before. I'm dreaming about Finnish words flying around in my room.
There is no logic in the grammar, in the endings, in the words. I'm going crazy! And I love it!

And I have started to learn Hindi...One of the most beautiful languages in the world, in my opinion. I love it. But it is crazy difficult as well! Headwrecking! Hmm, I see a similarity here...

And then I'm doing this dating/hoping I am dating this guy = headwrecking.

My head is about to explode. And I want to go up/down/left/right/inside/outside, until I don't know what else to do! And I am in love! In love with my life. With all these crazy things.

Listening to "Nary nary", which is an Arabic song, about a beautiful girl of course, with a girl singing in Hindi. I am also listening to Tujh mein rab dikhta hai, which means "In you I see God", which is a very very beautiful song. And happy, like most Bollywood songs! ;)
And I'm in love!

So, I hate dating.

I met a guy at the pub about ten days ago. I went with a few colleagues to Franciscan Wells, one of our "Apple"-pubs. Everybody from work is there on Fridays. It's great :)
Well, I went with a few friends, had a few pints, and then these other guys came. A girl I've met before and her friend. We started talking, and that was it. We had a great time, at least I thought so. The other in our party wanted to go to another pub, but we were in the middle of our pints, so we agreed that we would come after, and they left.

Of course we stayed. We had fun. The pub closed and we left. We stayed outside talking. And he suddenly asked me if I wanted to come over for dinner the day after?? Surprised, but happy, I said yes.

Said goodbye, and went home very happy. Our first date went great. You know when you are sitting up, talking all night drinking wine and just enjoying the evening. I stayed over and we continued our discussions and talking over breakfast.

And then I left. And the game starts.

You are supposed to wait for this and this long. You can't do this and you shouldn't do that. Because if you do that then you show this and that is bad because of this and if you do that, then that means this and that means that you can just forget about it all. Right...

But now, the problem here is that he is also Finnish...he's a bit strange. Cold.

And everybody I spoke to told me different things. It was wrecking my head. I hate playing games, especially since I'm crap at it. Why just don't get a yes or no right away, to get over with it? I mean, it's not like we're gonna get married or something.

So finally, Thursday, I sent him a text, not listening to all warnings etc. from everybody, asking him out for a drink. And of course I met him about 20 min later when I went for lunch. I asked him if he got my text and he said yes, he said that he wanted to meet me during the weekend and that he would text me.
Start waiting again...

He came to Franciscan on Friday again. Completely ignored me. What? I mean, do we actually speak the same language, men and women? But he texted me and apologized, saying he wasn't feeling well, since he left very early.

Anywho, in the end he finally asked me out for a second date yesterday. And it was great. I like him. A lot. And I hate that. He's still cold. I hate that even more. He seem to like me. And he invited me home for dinner this week. But who knows? Met him today on my way from work. Cold.

He's messing with my head. Stop it!


But the rest of the weekend was awesome. What I can remember of it at least ;) No, it wasn't that bad. But I had a great time! A lot of awesome pictures and stuff. You'll see at some point :) You should come over to Ireland, and enjoy the pub life.

And guys, I miss you!!

My week has been long. My flatmate arrived on Tuesday after almost three days of traveling because of the ash cloud. He couldn't fly from Stockholm to Dublin on Sunday as planned, so he had to travel through half of Europe instead, by car, taxi, bus, train and ferry, to get to Cork.
He's nice. And my cats likes him :)

The week has been very busy, but I have been very efficient. :D

There has been a guy that I have been talking to a lot of chat for a few weeks now, I was gonna meet up with him on Friday to have a drink with him. He works at Apple, and we have worked together, but I haven't actually spoken to him face to face yet. He seems nice :)

But I had decided to bring Micke/Mikael to Francicsan Wells on Friday evening together with a few friends of mine so that he could experience a real Irish pub, and also, there are a lot of Apple people there.
He immediately got along with the Danish CR guy, Peter, and with the UK/Swedish CR guy, Tariq. A few other people joined us and we had a lot of fun, I must say. We had our beers and suddenly one of the Norwegian girls arrived, Hanne, together with another girl and a guy. Sheridan and Rainer. I started talking to Rainer, a very good-looking guy :P
He told me that he is actually Finnish :) And I was sold... We spoke most of the evening from that moment. I had a great time. Micke and the other guys decided to leave for another pub and I decided to stay with Rainer to finish the beer I had and to join them after.
We ended up staying until they closed. And then we walked out and slowly away. He told me that he lived just around the corner and asked me if I wanted to come over for dinner on Saturday evening (yesterday). I was surprised, (very happy) and said yes. He kissed me on my cheek and we said goodbye.

And I walked away with a bigger smile on my face than I've had in a long long long time...

Yesterday I was sooo nervous. I didn't know if he was gonna actually ask me to come over or not. He had said that he would text me around 17.00-18.00 and I just thought that I would let him do that, but was nervous that he would have realized that I'm not really worth it...
He texted me :) and I bought a bottle of wine and went over there at 19.00.

He had made this incredible dinner. Monkfish with some kind of sauce, wrapped in bacon, put in the oven together with aubergine, onion and a few other vegetables, and together with saffron rice or something. It was like eating at an expensive restaurant... :) And we laughed, and we had so much fun. And time passed. I think that the time was suddenly over 04.00.
I stayed over and we had a great breakfast together, continuing to laugh and discuss and joke and what not. We have strange things in common but are very alike and different at the same time.

I left around 13.30 today. With an even bigger smile. He said that he wants to see me again. And I really hope that he does, because I sure wants to see him again. But who knows??

In any case, I haven't felt like this for a very very long time ever after a date. I'm a big smile, and I am scared to death to text him, what if I get a no? But also, I don't want to wait because he might think that I'm not interested...
I think I showed my interest clear enough. And also, I am not gonna do anything stupid or take anything for granted or jump into conclusions at this stage. It might have been a great first date, and that might be all there is to it. :) At least it will have made my day and I will remember this feeling for a long long time :)

Happy happy happy

I'm sorry I haven't updated my blogg for a while. I would love to say that I have been crazy busy (which I partially have been), but also, I have been so tired in the evenings and have been up to so many things.

Two weeks ago, I went to Dingle with two French colleagues, which was really really nice. We slept at a B&B and in the evening we went to a restaurant and then to a pub. It was the first time I ever saw a pub that was a shop during day and pub during night... You learn new things every day :)

In the morning, we went by the coast and took pictures, it was beautiful. I loved it. And then we went back towards Cork and stopped at Inch Beach where they were gonna surf. I had purchased a bikini in Dingle since I had decided that I wanted to take a swim while they were surfing. And I did!! :D
It was about 10 degress Celsius in the water, and about 16 degrees in the air. And beautiful big waves! I was happy! I have a photograph confirming this!

Was very very tired on Sunday evening when I came back home. And by the way, I was kind of flirting with Christophe, one of the French guys, he works in CR. He's really really nice. But I don't know. I'm a black hole when it comes to feelings...

The week passed and the weekend after I went out with Jessica. It was great! I met many of her Irish friends and we had a great time. I went with them to an after party after the pub closed. And I stayed there until 10.00 on Sunday morning. I stopped drinking by 01.00 and didn't smoke or anything, so when I got home I just got really really sick. It was awful. And I was supposed to go for a date with an Irish guy on Sunday afternoon.. I had to cancel that and sleep...

He understood ish.. :) and I went to work on Monday, knowing my new flatmate would arrive within a few days...coming from Sweden to start at Apple CR on Thursday. That was earlier this week.

So I ended out going out with Anais and Carl. We went to Cornerhouse and had a few pints (at least I had). Both Carl and Anais had decided not to drink, so Anais were drinking coffee and Red Bull and Carl had alcohol free German beer. That beer is actually quite good...

We went to Bodega's after that. It was such dreadful weather so we decided to take a taxi, even though it had stopped raining by the time we were leaving. Just in case..

And my favorite bouncer was there. He let us in, they hadn't started to charge for entrance yet. But I let Carl and Anais go inside and stopped to talk with him a little bit. He said that I hadn't been there the week before and I told him about my trip to Belfast. (I need to maintain my good relationship with him, to make sure I'll get inte for free ;) ) No, but he is really nice. And quite good looking too. Look like bouncer of course, big guy! :)

Inside I took another pint, but that was it, then we went dancing. And we had a great time. It was nice to just go dancing. I love that, and I also love to watch how Irish girls dress when they go out...very very interesting.

When Anais were going to the smoke room to have a cigarette, I went outside to talk to the bouncer. I REALLY need to ask his name again and remember it! Apparently he is single and 31. It was another girl I met out there, from Belfast, whom I was talking to who asked him these questions :) she was really really nice.
And both the girl and the second bounce asked me where I was from. When I told them I was from Sweden, they seemed really surprised and said that they couldn't hear that at all when I was talking. I sounded Irish. Yey(?)

So something must have happened over the last few weeks now, apparently it is disappearing, and I see that as a good thing in one way, but sad in another.. Anywho, I went in dancing again and just before we left, he gave me an umbrella (since my flew away two days ago). That was very kind of him...
Now I really need to go to bed.

Was supposed to play basketball today but I didn't feel well, no hangover since I only had three pints, but epilepsy wise. So I decided to stay at home instead, just in case. And have relaxed the whole day and evening. And now, off to bed..

Cheers

Long long week. I have been soo busy. But it's finally over! Yey! And now I'm going out to party. Not gonna drink too much though, basketball tomorrow. And I am almost fine again, so I need to practice so I can speak with Glanmire and arrange a practice session with them.

But anywho, I need a good night out! I hope I meet a lot of people I know. I need to socialize today. I just feel the very need of it. ;)

And it's nice. Max slept here last night. It was nice, but I forgot that he was in the  bed, so when my dear and very annoying Mimir (lovely cat) started to annoy me really badly in the middle of the night, I threw him away, but he landed on Max. Oops. :)
Whatever, that's what happens when you're used to have the whole bed for yourself. You can throw the cats in any direction ;) Mimir is lovely but can be soo annoying, he just wont shut up.

In any case, need to get myself ready now, so that I am pretty tonight :) this week I have looked like shit! Probably because of the backlog in sleeping and stuff. But it's getting better. :)

See you at Cornerhouse at 9pm?

I've been with ER for almost a month now. I have been working with customers for about 2,5 weeks. It is great. But now it starts to get stressful. I like it.
It is a great team. But I really do miss being in the Nordic team. They barely speak to me anymore. It is almost like "Erika is ER now, we mustn't speak with her", which is quite sad. But I try to have lunch with a few of them anyway during the week. And I mean, I am still Erika, the nice girl that I was when I was in CR, no difference there.

Apparently it makes a big difference though, not sitting among other Nordics. I mean, normally I speak a lot of Swedish during the day since I talk to my colleagues and friends in the team, but in ER, I'm the only Scandinavian. There are about 3 or 4 Scandinavians on the whole floor where I'm sitting. I know them all, but it's not like we sit together so that we can chat all day.
What I meant is that, apparently my accent has drastically "improved" towards the Irish accent. None of my UK customers could hear that I was from somewhere else, they believed me to be either from UK or Ireland, but not from a non-English speaking country.

I take that as a compliment, and it is a bit sad. More and more of me are fading away...

How would you feel when you actually need to do a Google Translate English to Swedish, because you can't remember the word in Swedish but you know it in English? That is just silly...but that happens to me often nowadays.
When I speak to Nordic customers I speak a bit of Swenglish, I loose words and have to apologize and say them either in another Nordic language or in English.

But still I am very proud of being Swedish. Which everybody at work knows :) And I mean, why shouldn't I be? Ok, I don't know anything about what has happened during the last few years now since I haven't really been home for over 3,5 years now, but still.

Anywho, just wanted to let you know that I am happy :)

Last weekend, we finally got to Belfast. It was a long long long weekend!! And I really needed to get away from Cork to think about something else...

Friday was soooo long. Pia finished around 6 and I had my early day so I went home to pack and sort out everything with the cats before, since she would pop by and pick me up after work.
Carl had got my spare set of keys and had promised to come by Saturday and Sunday to feed the cats and check the litter boxes.

Packing wasn't too difficult. Pia came and picked me up and we went to her place since she had to pick up some things before we left. We were discussing if we would need our passports or not, but decided that we would bring them just in case. Wouldn't want to get stuck up there.
Just before 8, we were ready and we left. Ready for a 5 hour drive...

I must say that she is a good driver and we had a lot of fun, but we are very bad at reading signs...we missed a few exits and ended up in a town which said "Welcome to Pakistan" (??) We had to stop and borrow the toilet at a pub. That was just outside Dublin. But I can't remember what the town was actually called...
When we entered Northern Ireland, both our phones started messing about, and we thought we saw Belfast everywhere.
In the end, after about 13 (I mean it really) roundabouts, we entered Belfast and I had to guide her in the city centre. It was after 1 by then and we were both very tired. But we made it :)
I've stayed at the hostel two or three times before and it's ok.
We got our beds and went to sleep. I must say that my bed was the most uncomfortable bed I've ever slept in. I could feel every spring in the whole bed!

We woke up on Saturday morning and went out for breakfast and some shopping to prepare for our big night out! It was a beautiful day and we walked around most of the day. Pia found a gorgeous bag, and I ended up getting a new piercing in my ear. :) I found a really beautiful dress as well. It was only ten pounds.
I have decided that I want to get at least three more after this one, but I'll take one at a time...because it hurts a lot at the moment...

We went to Speranza which is a restaurant I often went to when I lived in Belfast, and the food was as good as I remembered it to be. And our dessert were shots..
I mean, they were named "Strawberry cheesecake", Applepie" and "Strawberry ..."

Back to the hostel to get ready and to prepare for the evening. We met these to Australian girls who were visiting Belfast and who are gonna work in UK until next April or something. Really nice girls. They helped me out with my outfit.
Left for the gig.

The gig was awesome!! There were a lot of people there and Pia was drinking a lot :) I didn't drink that much, but I still danced like crazy. Until I met this guy...
Mark. From Belfast. Of course.

We were talking a bit since me and Pia had met his friend while she was out smoking and he introduced us. After we started talking, we kind of lost interest in the music. I lost Pia, but she had a lot of fun anyway :)

Me and Mark found a nice corner and we were sitting talking for the rest of the gig (only talking). He seems to be a really nice guy. I would like to see him again. And he has this lovely Northern Irish accent. I forgot how much I loved it.

Isn't it strange how much another persons opinion can poison your own? Now, when I'm finally rid of the poisonous influence that Tore had on me (that everything with Ireland, Cork, Belfast etc. is shit, awfult etc.) I am enjoying it more and more.

Anywho, we swapped numbers and hopefully I'll see him again.

I found Pia after the gig, outside smoking with two guys. I thought we were going home but apparently ended up with the two guys at their place. I was very suspicious and probably very unfriendly. Stat

Who can you trust? Really? Are you sure? Really really sure?

I thought I could trust one of my closest friends, AND my ex-boyfriend.

First, my dear dear friend runs of with our money and leaves us in the shit here in Ireland to sort it out. What the hell?
Second, my dear dear ex-boyfriend lies to me about a gas bill that I receive. The gas account is apparently still in MY name, not his. And the bastard just lies. The gas company has confirmed that he hasn't opened an account with them, he promises me that he has the gas bill, which he is gonna give me so I can give the gas company (he doesn't know that the gas company told me about him having no account). The only way is if the account was setup in someone else's name, but that is very unlikely since you can't have two accounts on one reader...

I'm learning my lesson, I promise!

WHAT have I done to deserve all of this???

At least I can promise you that I will never ever trust anyone in regards to money again. Not even my closest friends. If a close friend AND a boyfriend can betray you, then anyone can betray you.


Enough complaining!

I'll sort it out somehow, and break a few bones if needed...but Carl and I are probably going to see "Alice in Wonderland" tomorrow, which would be awesome! And then it's almost Friday and on Friday we're going to Belfast!
Carl is taking care of the cats during the weekend, he will visit them and make sure that they have food and water. He is nice.

And I have to remember, I'm in Executive Relations now...THAT is awesome!

Last day of my antibiotics as well, hopefully I'll be able to start eating normally by the end of the week. Would be nice. Even though I wont complain about the kilos I've lost.. ;)

Plus, we've had awesome weather here the last week, sunny but cold. But still, sunny! That's when I love Ireland!
So it's not all bad..

And I hope that someone wants to come and visit me soon. I feel a bit lonely (even though the guy I'm seeing slept here last night, Observe! Slept.)

I am mentally exhausted and I miss sleeping next to someone so it is nice that he comes over, but I wouldn't be able to have a relationship at this stage. So this is a good compromise :) I definitely recommend it :)

New week, new problems.

I'm feeling a bit better now though. The antibiotics are helping I think. But I'm coughing. And it hurts :(

But soon I'm done with the antibiotics.

Today I had quite a few cases today actually, so had to work :) yey!

And I'm back in my good mood. Why? Because it is a new week and there is no point in looking back.

Also, I have had my last big fight with Tore, who says that he wont pay the gas bill that I received since he already paid his. We agreed that he would send a copy of it to me and I will try and sort this out with the gas company since I haven't lived there and then they can see that Tore have paid for gas while living in the flat.
I'm not gonna pay for it anyway.
After that, he got really aggressive, called me a bitch (as always) and hung up. When I called him up again I told him that this was nothing personal, this was nothing between me and him, since that ship had sailed long ago, and that this was just pure business since I don't want to pay for anything. Anyway, he always gets very defensive when he feel guilty or lies to me and he hung up again.

And after that somehow I suddenly felt a heavy stone lift from my chest. I have tried to get rid of it for soo long. For months and months. I have known that we are not a couple for months, and I haven't acted like we are in a relationship for months, but still, something have kept me tied to him mentally. Now I finally feel free of him. Like I can actually forget him and move on (and I will do everything I can do forget as much as possible).

The problems with Elysian wont go away but I will try to sort it out with Bjorn and with the company if needed, somehow we can sort it out. And Tore is just a lying idiot, who promises things all the time, which he never keeps. Surprise surprise.

Anyway, I'm open for anything now. It will be another few rough months, but I can handle it. I will make sure that I can handle it. I've managed to so far.

But now to some fun stuff:

Next weekend, me and Pia are going to Belfast to see Tiesto!!!!

Awesome isn't it? We're going by car and will stay in a hostel and then we will go out shopping, eating, I will show her Belfast and then we will go partying!!
On Sunday we will go to IKEA!!!! And eat food and shop food and then we will go home.

Lovely Carl has promised to pop by and check on my cats on Saturday and Sunday to make sure that they have food and water. He's great. Will buy him some kexchoklad and meatballs.

Anywho, need to sleep and feed the cats.

Cheers!

Sometimes I really do wonder about charma, and also then, WHAT I did to deserve the crap I get.

These last few weeks have been really horrible, but at the same time they have been awesome. I mean, I got promoted, one of the most wanted jobs in Apple, I got it, because I'm awesome ;) there is no other explanation really. I have done a great job during my 1,5 years there and I did a great interview showing them that I will be a great asset in their team. Someone they can rely on. (and the fact that I will deal with the whole Nordic market, I think was a plus). And also, Jenny came over to visit me, the first friend in my more than 3,5 years in Ireland to come and visit me. Isn't that insane? I thought I actually had friends who cared about me at home, but apparently not enough to pay me a visit. I mean, Jenny got a return ticket for about 1500 SEK, approx. 150 euros, and she stayed at my place. We didn't spend that much money. It doesn't have to be expensive. But anywho, I barely have any contact with them anymore. I have more contact with friends from elementary school and from tech support in Stockholm, than my "close friends" from High School. And my best friend for ten years who live in Ireland, in Dublin, we haven't spoken for 2,5 years, since I had a fight with her boyfriend...

Anywho, so not all have been bad.

BUT, then it has been the two epileptic fits on the bus to and from works withinin two weeks of each other, and then two days before Jenny arrives I had fever and couldn't breathe so I went to hospital, they poked me with needles and they found the two chest infections and put me on two antibiotics and paracetamol because of the pain in the back (which was the reason to why I couldn't breathe).

I got all side effects you could think of and couldn't eat anything, and was on these antibiotics for a week, the whole time while Jenny was here. And couldn't really eat anything. Awesome. But we had a superb time!
She left. And my lovely week started.
It was great finally sitting in ER, doing ER stuff, but it was mostly training, reading procedures and learning some new tools etc. The day I stopped taking the paracetamol, Wednesday, I realized that I had a fever. Spoke to mom, who think that I might have been allergic to the mix of antibiotics or something, probably have had fever the whole week, but have taken paracetamols together with the antibiotics three times a day. And that mixed with my medication, it's a cocktail...

So I lived on water, a little bit of soup, and 2-3 fruits every day. That was all I could manage. Thursday came. Got an email from Liam. Was told that Bjorn haven't paid for the dept from Elysian and that we are now being taken to court, again. Started stressing about that. Again. Sent an angry email to Bjorn. Bjorn replied and said that he had informed Liam that he was gonna pay back but that he would need time since he had to fly back to Norway and sort out with his bank etc. and Liam had accepted that but suddenly changed his mind. And now he didn't want to deal with Bjorn anymore and is threatening me and Tore instead. Tore started to talk about getting a lawyer. I told him that I'm not gonna spend money on that. Bjorn has to sort this out. That he should contact the CEO since Liam seems strange. That's what they are doing now, so I'm trying to relax.
Awful week. Anyway. Antibiotics over.

But still didn't feel well. Had some other side effects still and went to the doctor on Friday, who gave me another antibiotic. For another 5 days. With this one, I can't eat OR drink anything at all. So for the last 48 hours, I haven't eaten anything, actually, I've eaten a few chocolate covered raisins, but I've had about 1 or maximum 2 glasses of water. Hopefully I will feel better soon so that I can at least start drinking, otherwise I'll get dehydrated.
And I have to take these pills every four hours. Don't ask me what they're for, but he said that they would help. And I have to go and take blood samples in 6 weeks. So at the same time as I'm going back to the hospital for scans for my chest again, I can give them the blood. Lovely.

What have I done to deserve this?

But yesterday was nice though. Ehab and Florence moved in together in December, into a really nice flat at Pope's Quay and they had a nice "house warming party" yesterday. It was just a few people, and they had a chocolate fountain! :) Awesome! But since I have all these lovely side effects, I could only watch the lovely side effects and the others eat... which was less fun. It was nice though, doing something.

Me and the guy I'm sort of seeing. Don't know. He doesn't want a relationship. I don't want a relationship. But he came over late Friday night and just slept over. Nothing else, just to hold me (romantic huh?) and I like him.

Tore, he's definitely a finished chapter. I'm soo sick of him. And he seems to be getting a job in US for Blizzard and once he's gone, then finally I might get some rest. He is just negative energy, messing with my head. But I hope we have sorted Elysian before that. I don't want to be stuck in this shit alone.

So, do you believe in charma?
What did I do to deserve all of this? Or is all of this just to make sure that I stay on the ground, to make sure that I appreciate what I got?

So what did I tell you a few days ago??

I was truly happy. Everything went my way, promotion and then the fact that Glanmire Basketball team wants me to train with them and might want me in their elite team. And that my cats are awesome, that I at least WAS dating a gorgeous guy (who has issues with relationships) and that my life in general was awesome!

Clever as I am, I enjoyed every second, even though I spent a few times in the hospital and currently eat two antibiotics. But that's fine.

The ER training is going fine as well, this is gonna be a piece of cake, most of the things are just a bit different from the letter handling that I have done, so it's not really new to me. Which is awesome! And next week, I'm gonna start work for real!! :D

And I also started my new "get in shape in 2 weeks marathon" this morning. How the hell am I gonna get in shape in 2 weeks? I mean, there is noooooooo way I can go like this to the basketball in Glanmire and train with the elite team.
So I decided that I would go to the gym three days a week, take a walk the days I'm not at the gym and play basketball as much as I can. Problem there is that it is only tomorrow, Saturday and next Wednesday. Next Saturday I will be in Belfast with Pia on a techno gig!!! :D

Anywho, Saturday will be spent hours and hours on boll control..

Now to the bad part of the day. After fighting with Tore (as usual) I get a chat from him saying we have received an email from Liam (the guy who is after us complaining about the rent) and that he has informed us that our dear Norwegian friend Bjørn decided to pay 300 euro of the 9000 euro that he owes them. And that Liam now wants the rest of the money from us. So yet again, we have to start this shitty thing where I just want to go and drag a blanket over my head and forget who I am.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS TO A FRIEND???

He has promised us twice now that he will pay it back, in writing. So, what am I gonna do now? I don't know. I am looking into possibilities. I wish I could leave the country, just like our dear idiot did, but unfortunately, with my promotion and with my cats and the fact that I love my life here, I don't really want to and wont.
So I have to find another solution.
I just really hope we find one.

Anywho, enough about that. What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. I am gonna be one of the strongest people in Ireland after all of the shit I have gone through these couple of years. And if I ever meet him again, I will make sure to break every bone in his body.

But, I am happy anyway, it could be worse. I'm now gonna try to find someone to live with so that we can move to a nicer place and hopefully pay a bit less rent, or find someone who wants to live here with me.

And I am apparently very populare ;) have been invited to two parties this weekend so far, and I forgot that I had promised to go to the first one, so I accepted the invitation to the second one, so I'm gonna be busy on Saturday. But NO drinking! I am doing basketball all day, and need to get in shape!!!

It's all mental, I'm gonna do this! I'm gonna get in shape, I'm gonna be awesome! I'm gonna get a spot in the elite team (or start in div1 and work my way up, just like I did in Apple)

Can I, can you most definitely! :)

Now, I'm off to bed. Need my beauty sleep. ;)