Happy
Life is strange. I am happy. I am sad. I am sick and tired of being here. I love it. Never happy am I?
Well, I have been a bit depressed for the last few years, it has been up and down, with the occasional breakdown when I just lay in bed crying for hours and with such a pain in my chest that it feels like I just want to explode or die.
I have mood swings. I have been talking to my dear crisis nurse after an incident last year. She was in contact with me every week until I started to see a therapist. I went once. He reminded me of someone I know and I couldn't sit there and talk about my feelings with him.
My mood affect me and Tore. I was thinking about getting anti-depressive medication but thought that maybe I should try some herbs first. Had heard of Johannesört, St Johns Worth (I think) but I can't eat it with my meds. Went in to a store which sells herbs and stuff and asked for a mild anti-depressive. They gave me Rhodelia. I started take it and have taken it for over two weeks. My mood swings are gone, my feelings are more stabile. I feel less stressed and feel relaxed. It is called Rosenört in Swedish. Why didn't I know of this before? Me and Tore have been fine since I started it. No fights, he is still not helping out with cleaning and stuff, but I don't care as much anymore. It is not the end of the world. Whatever. We're gonna move apart soon anyway.
I think so at least. Our contract runs out in the middle of July. We'll see if we move in together in another flat then. I might just rent a room somewhere and get on with my life instead. =)
Anywho, life is great. I complain about my customers but they are quite stupid many of them. My csat (customer satisfaction) is quite high, which is good. Our new manager is good. He lets me do what I need to do. I am doing a lot of things, never taking calls. Haven't been taking calls the whole year. Just been dealing with the letters coming in. The letters are difficult. They are soo angry many of them and they expect so much. And I have to give customers call every day and explain to them that we won't repair this for free or replace that without cost (since it is 3 years out of warranty = 4 years old) and the customer shout at me and say that they are gonna sue me.
People asks me how I can continue smiling even though I deal with the letters. I hate it sometimes, but I like it most of the time. Wouldn't change it for anything at this moment. Gonna save money and then I am leaving for holiday in the end of the summer. Alone probably. There is no one who wants to go with me or have the money to do so. And Tore is leaving for 8 days in Mexico so he will not go for holiday for a while after that.
Anywho, now I'm gonna continue with one of my Finnish lessons =) My goal is that I am gonna be done with the course I have before the summer. Then I need A LOT of practice!!
Well, I have been a bit depressed for the last few years, it has been up and down, with the occasional breakdown when I just lay in bed crying for hours and with such a pain in my chest that it feels like I just want to explode or die.
I have mood swings. I have been talking to my dear crisis nurse after an incident last year. She was in contact with me every week until I started to see a therapist. I went once. He reminded me of someone I know and I couldn't sit there and talk about my feelings with him.
My mood affect me and Tore. I was thinking about getting anti-depressive medication but thought that maybe I should try some herbs first. Had heard of Johannesört, St Johns Worth (I think) but I can't eat it with my meds. Went in to a store which sells herbs and stuff and asked for a mild anti-depressive. They gave me Rhodelia. I started take it and have taken it for over two weeks. My mood swings are gone, my feelings are more stabile. I feel less stressed and feel relaxed. It is called Rosenört in Swedish. Why didn't I know of this before? Me and Tore have been fine since I started it. No fights, he is still not helping out with cleaning and stuff, but I don't care as much anymore. It is not the end of the world. Whatever. We're gonna move apart soon anyway.
I think so at least. Our contract runs out in the middle of July. We'll see if we move in together in another flat then. I might just rent a room somewhere and get on with my life instead. =)
Anywho, life is great. I complain about my customers but they are quite stupid many of them. My csat (customer satisfaction) is quite high, which is good. Our new manager is good. He lets me do what I need to do. I am doing a lot of things, never taking calls. Haven't been taking calls the whole year. Just been dealing with the letters coming in. The letters are difficult. They are soo angry many of them and they expect so much. And I have to give customers call every day and explain to them that we won't repair this for free or replace that without cost (since it is 3 years out of warranty = 4 years old) and the customer shout at me and say that they are gonna sue me.
People asks me how I can continue smiling even though I deal with the letters. I hate it sometimes, but I like it most of the time. Wouldn't change it for anything at this moment. Gonna save money and then I am leaving for holiday in the end of the summer. Alone probably. There is no one who wants to go with me or have the money to do so. And Tore is leaving for 8 days in Mexico so he will not go for holiday for a while after that.
Anywho, now I'm gonna continue with one of my Finnish lessons =) My goal is that I am gonna be done with the course I have before the summer. Then I need A LOT of practice!!
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