Flatmate
I really have a lot of ups and downs. Two days ago I was happy. Yesterday I was happy. Today I am completely crushed and depressed. Why?
Well, my flatmate (Tore) told me yesterday that he had gone through my texts on my phone. I don't mind, don't have anything to hide. And I asked him if he found anything interesting. No.
Woke up this morning, cleaned the whole flat and his phone was in the kitchen. And I just felt like looking through his phone. Just curious you know, and since he broke the unwritten rule, I had the right as well. That was a mistake.
He had about 20 texts from a girl. Dirty stuff. He also told her he was single. She told him what she wanted to do with him and told him what she was wearing (about nothing). They also had a meeting on msn.
Now I know why he always have to change window and put a pillow over his.. when I wake up in the middle of the night. I have been crying today. For hours. Until I didn't have more tears.
When I had read them, I went in to the bedroom and asked him if he wanted me to lick his back (something she had planned to do when she is coming over here) and asked him if he thinks that he is single.
No. He said this was his aunt and that they were just joking around. Right. To start with, WHY would you like to do something like this with an aunt? And why do they write all texts in English when she is supposed to be Norwegian?
I told him that he hurt me and I guess we're even now. He don't think so.
The difference between me and him is that I can't even remember it, and I am not interested in the guy I apparently kissed. Tore implied many times that she was perfect for him...and they also texted during the whole night. I don't even have the guys number.
And I have more tears to cry. I left for a walk to the nature reserve. It was beautiful and I had some peace. I went home, cooked food and then his friend came over. He didn't say a word the whole time. So when the friend arrived, I left. I didn't know where to go, so I went to the cinema. Alone at the cinema, pathetic huh? Nice to think about something else a few hours.
I don't know what to do. Nice relationship we have now. He doesn't trust me, I don't trust him.. And since he is apparently single, I can't really call him a boyfriend. He is right now my flatmate and unfortunately we have to share bed.
Well, my flatmate (Tore) told me yesterday that he had gone through my texts on my phone. I don't mind, don't have anything to hide. And I asked him if he found anything interesting. No.
Woke up this morning, cleaned the whole flat and his phone was in the kitchen. And I just felt like looking through his phone. Just curious you know, and since he broke the unwritten rule, I had the right as well. That was a mistake.
He had about 20 texts from a girl. Dirty stuff. He also told her he was single. She told him what she wanted to do with him and told him what she was wearing (about nothing). They also had a meeting on msn.
Now I know why he always have to change window and put a pillow over his.. when I wake up in the middle of the night. I have been crying today. For hours. Until I didn't have more tears.
When I had read them, I went in to the bedroom and asked him if he wanted me to lick his back (something she had planned to do when she is coming over here) and asked him if he thinks that he is single.
No. He said this was his aunt and that they were just joking around. Right. To start with, WHY would you like to do something like this with an aunt? And why do they write all texts in English when she is supposed to be Norwegian?
I told him that he hurt me and I guess we're even now. He don't think so.
The difference between me and him is that I can't even remember it, and I am not interested in the guy I apparently kissed. Tore implied many times that she was perfect for him...and they also texted during the whole night. I don't even have the guys number.
And I have more tears to cry. I left for a walk to the nature reserve. It was beautiful and I had some peace. I went home, cooked food and then his friend came over. He didn't say a word the whole time. So when the friend arrived, I left. I didn't know where to go, so I went to the cinema. Alone at the cinema, pathetic huh? Nice to think about something else a few hours.
I don't know what to do. Nice relationship we have now. He doesn't trust me, I don't trust him.. And since he is apparently single, I can't really call him a boyfriend. He is right now my flatmate and unfortunately we have to share bed.
Christmas is over
I am happy again. (I am aware that I am mentally unstable) But I am happy right now again. Went to work this morning, no cars, no buses, no people, just quiet and still.
It was a little bit cold, but not very. I couldn't hear anything at all. Everyone were asleep. I like that. I miss the times as Breakfast Supervisor. To be awake before everybody else and see the world wake up.
Came to work and had a cup of coffee (or actually three) since I had nightmares the whole night and was deadly tired. I dreamt about killer tigers and polar bears that were brutally killing my friends in a ski resort. I KNOW I am a bit psycho, but they were scary!!
At work, it was really really quiet. Almost no calls at all. Interesting part is that I had 8 calls and the rest of the team didn't have more than 2 each...But there wasn't any idiots for once. I liked that. And I was reading about serial killers on Wikipedia. I must say that Ted Bundy was a bit scary. And I feel sorry for his daughter who was born while he was in jail. What idiotic woman marries a serial killer?
He killed up to 100 women, but the official number is 36. He decapitated some of them with a hacksaw and kept the heads in the house or flat he lived in for a while before throwing them away or cremating them...Disgusting.
And Peter Tobin, who killed women in UK and one of them, he buried under the floor in the church where he worked as a handyman, while she was alive...!
I must say that Wikipedia is great. You learn a lot of stuff there. Insane stuff, but still. And gråsugga på norska är skrukketroll. My new favorite Norwegian word. Gråsugga in English is woodlouse. They have found one on the bottom of the ocean that weighs 1,5 kg.
When it comes to Christmas. I hope you all had great evenings with a lot of gifts which you actually liked. And I hope you ate A LOT of food. I didn't. But I had some lasagna, a few glasses of wine and saw a movie with my dear boyfriend. Could have been worse.
Mia is coming over very soon. We are gonna watch movies, talk and drink wine (she will drink vodka). Modde and Tore is in the living room playing PS3 games. And they are probably gonna get drunk too. But life is good.
The only thing is that I miss you an awful lot right now. I miss you, I miss Sweden. I have thought about Sweden and home quite a lot the last few days. Probably because it is Christmas. But right now, I wouldn't mind move back home. But I know that I would be restless soon and try to find another place to travel. And Apple is great. It will look good on my CV. And it is an experience. To meet people from everywhere. That is what I love. I will have friends from the whole world, I have friends who lived in Italy, Portugal, Spain, Germany, Poland, Norway, Denmark and France.
I know that I am very patriotic, but ask anyone here, they all have flags up, they all love to sing their national anthem when they are drunk. And are we rasists? No, we just love our countries, we know to appreciate them.
There are a lot of good things here in Ireland, but there is a lot I miss from home.
The healthcare, the dental care, the public transport, the food, the clean streets. What I love here is the mentality of the people, they are all so polite and friendly (except the kids who don't respect anyone at all) I love the atmosphere and the country is beautiful. But I miss the sun. I WILL look like an Irish soon, my skin has not seen sun for 1½ year now.
This was a lot of crap. And now Mia is coming over. Will go down and meet her. We are gonna cook. Something nice. How are you? What is happening in your life right now? How are you feeling? Are you happy?
I love you, my friends, and my family.
It was a little bit cold, but not very. I couldn't hear anything at all. Everyone were asleep. I like that. I miss the times as Breakfast Supervisor. To be awake before everybody else and see the world wake up.
Came to work and had a cup of coffee (or actually three) since I had nightmares the whole night and was deadly tired. I dreamt about killer tigers and polar bears that were brutally killing my friends in a ski resort. I KNOW I am a bit psycho, but they were scary!!
At work, it was really really quiet. Almost no calls at all. Interesting part is that I had 8 calls and the rest of the team didn't have more than 2 each...But there wasn't any idiots for once. I liked that. And I was reading about serial killers on Wikipedia. I must say that Ted Bundy was a bit scary. And I feel sorry for his daughter who was born while he was in jail. What idiotic woman marries a serial killer?
He killed up to 100 women, but the official number is 36. He decapitated some of them with a hacksaw and kept the heads in the house or flat he lived in for a while before throwing them away or cremating them...Disgusting.
And Peter Tobin, who killed women in UK and one of them, he buried under the floor in the church where he worked as a handyman, while she was alive...!
I must say that Wikipedia is great. You learn a lot of stuff there. Insane stuff, but still. And gråsugga på norska är skrukketroll. My new favorite Norwegian word. Gråsugga in English is woodlouse. They have found one on the bottom of the ocean that weighs 1,5 kg.
When it comes to Christmas. I hope you all had great evenings with a lot of gifts which you actually liked. And I hope you ate A LOT of food. I didn't. But I had some lasagna, a few glasses of wine and saw a movie with my dear boyfriend. Could have been worse.
Mia is coming over very soon. We are gonna watch movies, talk and drink wine (she will drink vodka). Modde and Tore is in the living room playing PS3 games. And they are probably gonna get drunk too. But life is good.
The only thing is that I miss you an awful lot right now. I miss you, I miss Sweden. I have thought about Sweden and home quite a lot the last few days. Probably because it is Christmas. But right now, I wouldn't mind move back home. But I know that I would be restless soon and try to find another place to travel. And Apple is great. It will look good on my CV. And it is an experience. To meet people from everywhere. That is what I love. I will have friends from the whole world, I have friends who lived in Italy, Portugal, Spain, Germany, Poland, Norway, Denmark and France.
I know that I am very patriotic, but ask anyone here, they all have flags up, they all love to sing their national anthem when they are drunk. And are we rasists? No, we just love our countries, we know to appreciate them.
There are a lot of good things here in Ireland, but there is a lot I miss from home.
The healthcare, the dental care, the public transport, the food, the clean streets. What I love here is the mentality of the people, they are all so polite and friendly (except the kids who don't respect anyone at all) I love the atmosphere and the country is beautiful. But I miss the sun. I WILL look like an Irish soon, my skin has not seen sun for 1½ year now.
This was a lot of crap. And now Mia is coming over. Will go down and meet her. We are gonna cook. Something nice. How are you? What is happening in your life right now? How are you feeling? Are you happy?
I love you, my friends, and my family.
Christmas is around the corner
Merry fucking christmas. Miss Sunshine is here. Broken dreams. Broken promises. Like always.
Do you think that there will be ONE day when my dear actually keep something he has promised? And is there gonna be only ONE time when he actually doesn't blame me or try to make me the big bad wolf when I ask him why he promise something without keeping it (again).
Promise: To clean the flat and that we were going out for dinner this evening when I come home from work.
What happened?: I called him on my way from work. He wasn't at home. Asked if he was in town. Yes he was there shopping with someone. Ok, are we having dinner? No, he have just eaten lunch (time is 17.10)
Ok, I am disappointed and take the bus home. Was the house cleaned? Of course not!! Who are you trying to fool? And THEN I get a text from him: Buy food
What?
He comes home, gets into the room and shows me the playstation he bought and gets upset when I don't jump with joy. Ask him about the dinner and about the cleaning and he starts screaming at me. And slamming the door on the way out.
And this time I only laugh. I am so sick of his behaviour. I am not the bitch in every scenario. I'm not. But I expect a little bit from him. It is soon christmas.
IF I go for a dinner tomorrow after work with my colleagues, then he don't want to celebrate when he gets home from work at 23.30. So he wants me to sit home from 16.00 tomorrow and do NOTHING just to let me celebrate with him. I am thinking about going for the dinner and then just don't come back home until early morning. As if he will care if I am home at 11 or 03.30
I really need to call a psychologist after Christmas. Need to get out of this.
But I like the flat. I don't want to live with people I don't know. But it might be the best. So my mind can get some piece. Cause there are people who likes me. Who cares. And I thank them for it.
Anyway, tomorrow is Christmas and it is time for friends and love. I will enjoy time with my friends and only drink some wine. Don't want to repeat Saturday again (even though I am very sad I missed the kiss)
Merry Christmas and Happy new year from me to all of you. I love you, I do. I miss you even more.
Do you think that there will be ONE day when my dear actually keep something he has promised? And is there gonna be only ONE time when he actually doesn't blame me or try to make me the big bad wolf when I ask him why he promise something without keeping it (again).
Promise: To clean the flat and that we were going out for dinner this evening when I come home from work.
What happened?: I called him on my way from work. He wasn't at home. Asked if he was in town. Yes he was there shopping with someone. Ok, are we having dinner? No, he have just eaten lunch (time is 17.10)
Ok, I am disappointed and take the bus home. Was the house cleaned? Of course not!! Who are you trying to fool? And THEN I get a text from him: Buy food
What?
He comes home, gets into the room and shows me the playstation he bought and gets upset when I don't jump with joy. Ask him about the dinner and about the cleaning and he starts screaming at me. And slamming the door on the way out.
And this time I only laugh. I am so sick of his behaviour. I am not the bitch in every scenario. I'm not. But I expect a little bit from him. It is soon christmas.
IF I go for a dinner tomorrow after work with my colleagues, then he don't want to celebrate when he gets home from work at 23.30. So he wants me to sit home from 16.00 tomorrow and do NOTHING just to let me celebrate with him. I am thinking about going for the dinner and then just don't come back home until early morning. As if he will care if I am home at 11 or 03.30
I really need to call a psychologist after Christmas. Need to get out of this.
But I like the flat. I don't want to live with people I don't know. But it might be the best. So my mind can get some piece. Cause there are people who likes me. Who cares. And I thank them for it.
Anyway, tomorrow is Christmas and it is time for friends and love. I will enjoy time with my friends and only drink some wine. Don't want to repeat Saturday again (even though I am very sad I missed the kiss)
Merry Christmas and Happy new year from me to all of you. I love you, I do. I miss you even more.
On probation...in a relationship
You can say that I am on probation. Tore has not yet decided if he can or if he can't forgive me for what happened last Saturday. There is no excuse, but I tried to explain to him that it didn't mean anything since I can't even remember it.
This is officially my first black out. And the weird part is that I can't even remember the whole. I remember the evening as complete, no gaps. We came, we had fun, we left. But at some point in the middle, I had a short blackout.
It was a bit awkward to be informed by somebody else what I had done. WHY do people drink that much? Ok, I did it, but I learned from this. What I know is that there are people who drink like this every weekend and have blackouts. That is just embarassing.
I am a bit disappointed since I can't remember it. The guy is hot. Was it good? Was it bad? Probably crap (you can't really perform anything when you are piss drunk). But it would have been nice to remember. It was only a few kisses. But still. Anywho. I spoke to my partner in crime on Friday since I felt that we needed to discuss what happened. Can be a bit awkward since he is my supervisor.
He doesn't remember a thing and we laughed about the stupidness. To make out in front of tonnes of people we are working with? We agreed that we could have done a lot worse (he is hot as I told you, he feels the same about me) and we could have done a lot more to regret. So, no awkwardness between us, just some laughs and we are gonna stay out of each others reach the next time we enter a party ;)
The week has been hell. No Nordic calls again. I am banned! :( not really, but since we are that many Scandinavians now, I am prioritized on UK/IE and those calls are crap. They are always sooooo angry (even when they have damaged their products themselves) and wants us to pay and refuse to take a no. If you say no, they want to speak to a Supervisor. I have the same authority as my supervisors which means that I can make all decisions myself, but they don't care. And they scream in your ear saying you don't care about them as customers... Please don't expect too much when you have dropped your phone in the toilet please! I DO care, I AM terribly sorry that you were stupid enough to leave the computer out in the rain, but there is NOTHING we can do!
This weekend has been quiet. I have been looking for some christmas gifts for Tore. I am on kind of probation now, but I will still give him a christmas gift. If he doesn't give me one, I don't care. And I am due to start going to a psychologist. Interesting huh? I have issues. Big issues. Nothing to discuss, but I need to sort my head out.
This is officially my first black out. And the weird part is that I can't even remember the whole. I remember the evening as complete, no gaps. We came, we had fun, we left. But at some point in the middle, I had a short blackout.
It was a bit awkward to be informed by somebody else what I had done. WHY do people drink that much? Ok, I did it, but I learned from this. What I know is that there are people who drink like this every weekend and have blackouts. That is just embarassing.
I am a bit disappointed since I can't remember it. The guy is hot. Was it good? Was it bad? Probably crap (you can't really perform anything when you are piss drunk). But it would have been nice to remember. It was only a few kisses. But still. Anywho. I spoke to my partner in crime on Friday since I felt that we needed to discuss what happened. Can be a bit awkward since he is my supervisor.
He doesn't remember a thing and we laughed about the stupidness. To make out in front of tonnes of people we are working with? We agreed that we could have done a lot worse (he is hot as I told you, he feels the same about me) and we could have done a lot more to regret. So, no awkwardness between us, just some laughs and we are gonna stay out of each others reach the next time we enter a party ;)
The week has been hell. No Nordic calls again. I am banned! :( not really, but since we are that many Scandinavians now, I am prioritized on UK/IE and those calls are crap. They are always sooooo angry (even when they have damaged their products themselves) and wants us to pay and refuse to take a no. If you say no, they want to speak to a Supervisor. I have the same authority as my supervisors which means that I can make all decisions myself, but they don't care. And they scream in your ear saying you don't care about them as customers... Please don't expect too much when you have dropped your phone in the toilet please! I DO care, I AM terribly sorry that you were stupid enough to leave the computer out in the rain, but there is NOTHING we can do!
This weekend has been quiet. I have been looking for some christmas gifts for Tore. I am on kind of probation now, but I will still give him a christmas gift. If he doesn't give me one, I don't care. And I am due to start going to a psychologist. Interesting huh? I have issues. Big issues. Nothing to discuss, but I need to sort my head out.
Am I single again?
Do you wanna know some (great) news? I am single. I think so anyway. To make a looooong story short:
Friday evening. Danish Anders invites me for a party at Mathias place near where I live. A Scandinavian party. I thought "Great, that will be sooo much fun!"
Me and Mia went out on Saturday to buy some clothes etc and started of slowly with some vodka redbull and a lot of lime. Around 11 we went to Mathias together with Fransesco.
I had soooo much fun! We had a great time, I made friend with Modde again, even though I had decided to hate him forever and forever.
It turns late and I am getting quite drunk. And I know that we are sitting in the backyard talking, me and Mia and Anders. Impressing. Funny. We get inside. Sit down on the sofas. And someone starts to offer me shots of vodka. Bad idea. But drunk as I was, I didn't think about it.
Around 5.30 we went home and Mia left me in our flat. I had the wooooooorst hangover ever ever ever on Sunday.
Went to work this morning. Around 3 I get a lot of texts and missed calls from Tore. Don't know why since I left the ATM card on the kitchen table.
"Do you know why I am pissed off" he shouts. "No, did I forget to leave the ATM card on the table?" "Wrong answer!!!" "Ok..?"
"You and Anders!" "What?" "You and Anders!!" "Me and Anders and what?" "You were acting like a whore!! Everybody knows it!!" "Ööööh, what?" "So you don't remember?" "No, sorry" "We are sooo over, you are a complete waste of time"
Kind of. And he broke up with me. Since I can't remember anything I went to Francesco who said "Oh yes, I know THAT!" and smiled. "Huh? How come everybody knows but me?"
It seems like I have a bit of a blackout there. After some research it seems like I kissed Anders at one point on Saturday night. But he doesn't remember either. Interesting huh?
And am I supposed to be sad now? What should I do? Should I move out? Should I stay? Should I try to make him forgive me? Doesn't this just show that something was actually not 100 % right in our relationship? Is all of this my fault alone? I don't have any tears in my eyes.
My lovely friends told me that they have a place for me to stay if I need. Typical it is so close to Christmas. What shall I do? I spoke to mum. She told me that I shouldn't think to much with my heart. I should move out, and if he wants to stay with me, then we will continue as a couple, but otherwise I will be free as a bird. And maybe I should be. Then I can do whatever I want again. I wont have to think about what someone else is thinking. But I still like him.
Hmmm....he will probably not take me back anyway so there is not point of thinking about that. I will see if his friends have left and then, I will go and try to have a conversation with him. I REALLY need a drink right now!!!!!!!
Friday evening. Danish Anders invites me for a party at Mathias place near where I live. A Scandinavian party. I thought "Great, that will be sooo much fun!"
Me and Mia went out on Saturday to buy some clothes etc and started of slowly with some vodka redbull and a lot of lime. Around 11 we went to Mathias together with Fransesco.
I had soooo much fun! We had a great time, I made friend with Modde again, even though I had decided to hate him forever and forever.
It turns late and I am getting quite drunk. And I know that we are sitting in the backyard talking, me and Mia and Anders. Impressing. Funny. We get inside. Sit down on the sofas. And someone starts to offer me shots of vodka. Bad idea. But drunk as I was, I didn't think about it.
Around 5.30 we went home and Mia left me in our flat. I had the wooooooorst hangover ever ever ever on Sunday.
Went to work this morning. Around 3 I get a lot of texts and missed calls from Tore. Don't know why since I left the ATM card on the kitchen table.
"Do you know why I am pissed off" he shouts. "No, did I forget to leave the ATM card on the table?" "Wrong answer!!!" "Ok..?"
"You and Anders!" "What?" "You and Anders!!" "Me and Anders and what?" "You were acting like a whore!! Everybody knows it!!" "Ööööh, what?" "So you don't remember?" "No, sorry" "We are sooo over, you are a complete waste of time"
Kind of. And he broke up with me. Since I can't remember anything I went to Francesco who said "Oh yes, I know THAT!" and smiled. "Huh? How come everybody knows but me?"
It seems like I have a bit of a blackout there. After some research it seems like I kissed Anders at one point on Saturday night. But he doesn't remember either. Interesting huh?
And am I supposed to be sad now? What should I do? Should I move out? Should I stay? Should I try to make him forgive me? Doesn't this just show that something was actually not 100 % right in our relationship? Is all of this my fault alone? I don't have any tears in my eyes.
My lovely friends told me that they have a place for me to stay if I need. Typical it is so close to Christmas. What shall I do? I spoke to mum. She told me that I shouldn't think to much with my heart. I should move out, and if he wants to stay with me, then we will continue as a couple, but otherwise I will be free as a bird. And maybe I should be. Then I can do whatever I want again. I wont have to think about what someone else is thinking. But I still like him.
Hmmm....he will probably not take me back anyway so there is not point of thinking about that. I will see if his friends have left and then, I will go and try to have a conversation with him. I REALLY need a drink right now!!!!!!!
Csat is what I am living for
I am so stressed. I don't know what to do. I am sitting at work, looking at all my open cases, and thinking about the horrible job I am doing.
And then I received this email from our Area Manager today. She had read the comments from one of the surveys that I had received and she wanted to compliment me for my job. One of my customer said in the comments "You have a gem in your company. Her name is Erika von Gegerfelt. Give her an employee of the month award or a raise! Absolutely the best customer service I have ever experienced"
And even though I am stressed to death, I felt that I have done my job there. That felt good. And I have another customer that was really happy with my service today. This great Australian guy whom I have helped for the last 2 weeks. Great guy. It is quite sad to say goodbye to them sometimes. I spend hours on trying to solve their problems and some of them understand that, most of them don't. And it is when you receive comments like this, that you appreciate your job.
But I am stressed to death. I am so stressed that I don't even have time for lunch, I come in early and stay over to just fix with my cases. It shouldn't be like that. But on Wednesday I am having a meeting with my Manager and I am gonna discuss this to see how we are gonna solve it.
Now. I am going to bed. Need to get some rest. Last night I dreamt that someone tried to kill me, wasn't very pleasant...
Oohh. I made a new friend by the way =D Matteo. Another Italian guy, but he is working in the technical department. Funny guy. Italian people, they are great!
And then I received this email from our Area Manager today. She had read the comments from one of the surveys that I had received and she wanted to compliment me for my job. One of my customer said in the comments "You have a gem in your company. Her name is Erika von Gegerfelt. Give her an employee of the month award or a raise! Absolutely the best customer service I have ever experienced"
And even though I am stressed to death, I felt that I have done my job there. That felt good. And I have another customer that was really happy with my service today. This great Australian guy whom I have helped for the last 2 weeks. Great guy. It is quite sad to say goodbye to them sometimes. I spend hours on trying to solve their problems and some of them understand that, most of them don't. And it is when you receive comments like this, that you appreciate your job.
But I am stressed to death. I am so stressed that I don't even have time for lunch, I come in early and stay over to just fix with my cases. It shouldn't be like that. But on Wednesday I am having a meeting with my Manager and I am gonna discuss this to see how we are gonna solve it.
Now. I am going to bed. Need to get some rest. Last night I dreamt that someone tried to kill me, wasn't very pleasant...
Oohh. I made a new friend by the way =D Matteo. Another Italian guy, but he is working in the technical department. Funny guy. Italian people, they are great!
