Erika in Ireland

I had a nice day yesterday. I lay in bed and watched True blood. An American tv-series about vampires. Good stuff. I did that since I was sick and every time I moved I almost coughed my lungs up.

But I still had the energy to go to Dunnes Store to by some food and to get some christmas decorations. Felt I needed something. I mean it is first of Advent today. I think so anyway. They don't celebrate it over here so I am not sure, but I have heard so from mum. Anywho, I went there and found some candles and a really nice candle thing with red glass. It was beautiful, and about 15 euro. That is nothing. And it is more like something you would have at home, in Sweden.
Not these insanely crazy strong neon colors and metal and fake and too much of everything. It is just candles, and of course, the red flower, a christmas star. Julstjärna. And I realized how much more our flat looks like a home with only these few things.

The best part though, was that my dad called me in the middle of the night. He was having a "few" :) beers with some of his friends. That was great :) and I spoke to all of them. We had a great time in Spain last year, and that was also the last time I saw my dad. That is sad. I miss him. I think of him every day. Especially when I have had a fight with my "lovely" boyfriend. Like today.

I looked forward to go shopping with him, but when he was late and was about to have a coffee with a friend before we left, I asked him why, he just called me a bitch. Not fair huh? Ok, I can act a bit bitchy sometimes, but I wonder if I did this time. We said that we were going to town around three. At 3,30 he wasn't ready and said he was gonna grab a quick coffee with his friend first. And I just asked him why he couldn't do that after instead. I continue come up with reasons why I should stay with him, I like him, we will work it out, we are just having a bad period etc. But I feel a little bit like these women who are getting abused by their men (don't worry, he would never touch me, and if he would, I would kill him) they excuse their men all the time and say it will be better.
Anyway, we had a short fight and I started to cough. And you know what happened? I coughed so hard for about 10 min that almost all my blood vessels in my forehead and around my eyes and cheeks exploded. I coughed so hard that I almost threw up. So now, I look like an old alcoholic.

I am getting friends here now. I need friends to be able to break up if I decide to. I do not for a second in my life think that I will spend my life with this man. I don't believe in that kind of love anymore, especially not with him. But we have a nice flat, we have a nice time when we don't fight and he is the first guy I have met who wants to travel and have the possibility. Just like me. That is why I want it to work out.

Something I am very proud of today. I have fixed my first problem in the flat. The washing machine stopped working of some reason. I had no idea why, it just stopped spinning. And since I wanted to try and sort it out before we called our landlord, I tried to open the lid on the bottom of the machine. I opened it a little and a lot of water came out. Hmmm...
Well, I managed to empty it in the end and take out the thing in it which is for all the fluff that gets stuck in the machine. And we found a lot of coins. And a lot of fluff. And some bra things. No wonder the machine wasn't working. The water couldn't get out. So I emptied it and now it is working fine. I am sooo handy =D

I am already in a better mood. Screw you, boyfriend. I can take care of myself.  =)

Happy. Happy. Happy!

Life is great. Life is wonderful. Life is super right now.

I am sooooooooooo happy that I am alive. That I am here where I am. That I have the friends I have, that I know the people I do, that I work at this super company.

One thing is that I last night had a farewell dream regarding a very old friend of mine. A best friend that I have had for many years. Something happened about a year ago and we stopped talking. From being these close close best friends, to nothing. I felt lonely, I felt empty, even though I made new friends. I missed her.
Last night I dreamt that I nightmare, nothing bad happened to any of us, but we had a fight and we said goodbye. And I woke up this morning and felt that I finally have left all of this behind me. It was like breaking up you know. I loved her. She was my family, I thought we were gonna be best friends forever.
But life is strange. You change, people around you change. One day you wake up and realize that you have become a complete different person.
But I finally said goodbye, and I am ready to at some point in my life find another close best friend. Except my forever close soulmate Richa. I do believe that we will be best soulmate epilepsy friends forever, because guys do not come in our way, and we wont ever have to worry about falling for the same guy ;)

I love you Richa, you are the best! We are sooo gonna celebrate ourselves with champagne when I come home for a visit. Like we always do. Just because we are we. And because we can cancel 10 min before we are supposed to meet without any of us getting upset and bitchy like 99% of the rest of the female population on this planet...
You know that I am trying to move you over here...I would love to have you here close to me...

I am sooo happy to be healthy. A friend of mine at work have been seriously ill for the last few months now and have been at the hospital quite a few times. They have FINALLY found the problem and she is gonna get better, but the pain she has had! And still she is such a star.

And the colleagues I have at work are great. Especially the other departments, the guys who are situated home in Stockholm and in Barcelona. They are super, and I really look forward to get home and meet them in real life!

Now I am gonna go to bed. Tomorrow is gonna be a busy busy day and I am planning to be as happy as today...some people can't stand me ;)


And my family, my friends, you know I love you all.

I am sorry I haven't updated my blogg for two weeks...but I have been so incredibly busy and stressed out. I have so many open cases and everything at work and am trying to manage that without letting my customers suffer and get even more unhappy...

Anywho, I have had time to do a few things this week =)

I went out this Wednesday with one of the tier 1 guys from Portugal, Ricardo. Cool guy. I have promised him for weeks to go out and have a beer and I had a real rough day Wednesday. We went to the city centre and had some food at this sooooo American diner thing and ate burgers and drank milkshake. Fun as hell! And then we had a few beers at Crane Lane. Great night.

And Friday. Went with Mia to city centre after work to shop some shoes, eat and grab a whiskey. The whiskey since my throat was killing me. We had a great time and went to Crane Lane (the place to be). Francesco, the Italian guy in our team (one of my absolute favorites) popped by and joined us. He is the funniest man I have met, and with him you are guaranteed a great evening. We sat there and just enjoyed life and not being at work (horrible customers). Mia had to go home a bit earlier, but me and Francesco sat there til about 10.30 and then I felt I should go home to my dear boyfriend since I had promised to bring him food.
Francesco had asked  if we would like to join him and another Italian guy from our team on Sunday, when they were going on a trip. Sure, said I =)

Saturday. Mia came over. We watched movies and ate pizza. Just awesome to spend some time with a girl and talk about silly stuff.

And this morning. Woke up and got ready. Went down to city centre where I met Francesco and Jean Luca. We were going to Youghal, where Ray, one of the guys from the Dutch team is living. He sits opposit me at work =)

Took the car out from Cork city and got lost. These two Italians are the worst map readers I have ever met. They didn't even have a map!! No wonder we got lost every ten min. I have never laughed so much. And I took pictures.

When we finally arrived in Youghal, after a numerous amount of detours, we met Ray and went for lunch. Beautiful town. A coast town and I just loved it! We decided to go to this historical seaside village about 15 min drive from Youghal.
Arrived. Nothing but a beach and some lost dogs. Where was the history? Where was the old houses? Where was the people?
We stood there like idiots, looking at the beach and walked for a few min before we went back to Youghal for a beer or two (or actually Irish coffee and white wine)

These guys are great! I had a great time and it was fun. We came back to Cork arount 7 tonight, but it felt like we had been gone for soo much longer. (we got lost on the way back again, I admire Jean Luca for managing that)

So this was my super duper great weekend! And now it's back to work tomorrow. I am soooo busy, but I am relaxed and am looking forward to going out for a few drinks this week as well and also the cinema. Who I am going with, I am not sure yet, Mia or Ricardo or maybe both.

I am finally starting to get friends here. And I realize how much I actually likes to live here in Ireland again. I do miss home, but I love this country (even though the weather is shit).The people I have met, the things I have done, the things I will do, it is all something that I would not even have come close to experience at home.

What I really want to say: I am happy again. Genuinely happy.

There is a weaker gender...which one? Right, as IF women would ever be the weaker gender....

I mean, look at my dear boyfriend (always the example). He complains and complains and complains "I work so much...buhu, I work 11 hours in a row"
Ok, that would maybe be a lot, but he is also off three days a week.
"Buhu, I am so tired when I get home from work. Can't clean, can't cook, can't wash clothes, no energy"
But he has energy enough to be awake til 6 in the morning (he finish work at 23.00) and sit in front of the computer...

So I say. "It is ok if you don't clean or cook or anything the days you are working, I understand you must be tired, but please help me on your off days"
Does that happen? Never. "I am NEVER off (he had to work an extra day, two weeks in a row, one of them he called in sick with a hangover) I don't have the energy today! And he gets angry with me. It is not like I am up his face anymore asking him fifteen times to clean the kitchen, it is more like "you promised to take out the trash wednesday, it is sunday now..."

So what is wrong with him? I guess he probably just is the weaker gender. I have to adjust to the fact that some people can't handle things.
I was working 60-80 hours a week, split shift, late evenings and early mornings, six days a week, and did I complain? Sure a bit, but not like this. I would NEVER complain like this. Just get a grip! Grow up.

I know what HARD WORK is, and it is NOT sitting in front of a computer 11 hours a day...I would like to see him working my 82 hours in 7 days, with two 21 hours shift after each other with four hour sleep in between. Running in a restaurant, carring plates, tables, chairs, glasses, dishes, cleaning, polishing etc.

I am a bit bitter I think...
He was off, Sunday, Monday and today. Was supposed to clean yesterday, since he is to tired on Sundays (that is absolutely fine). No cleaning yesterday, he "woke up" at 4pm. Sure. I cleaned up a bit and he promised to clean today and that we would go for dinner today instead..
Came home today...nothing cleaned. He "woke up" at 4.30 and didn't feel well. Apparently he was completely smashed when he came home last night. So he is not ill, he has a hang over...good excuse.


When it comes to illnesses, we all know that guys are weaker..they get a little cold and they think they will die..
My boyfriend have been home several times already feeling ill, and he has been ill many many many times on his off days (think it is so that he wont have to clean). When I got sick two weeks ago I tried to continue to work, but I ended up in the hospital. I was ill for real.


It is a bit sad guys, but I love you anyway. Thinking about maybe getting a girlfriend though. Just to see if it is any better.. naaaa...
Might move out from Tore now though. Tried to talk to him about it, the reaction I get is "so move out!!!!" and he then ignores me. Feels like talking to a kid. Maybe I just should. A german girl at work needs a new room mate. Hmm, I need to think about it. Is it time to cut loose?

The sweet escape is ringing in my head again...